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30 DAYS OF ADVICE TO HELP YOU STAY PORN FREE

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Sex is Divine!

by Cris Clapp Logan on April 11th, 2012 in Parents

Have you heard of ABC’s new show “GCB”?  It’s based on a book called Good Christian Bitches; both book and show do a pretty good job of pointing out hypocrisy within the church and painting (at least some) Christians as pharisaical nut cases.

During the latest episode, Pastor Tudor (the head pastor of a church in the most affluent neighborhood in Dallas, TX) challenges the committed, married couples in his church congregation to have sex every day for the next week in a sermon titled “Sex is Divine”.  In response, one of the main characters, Carlene, founds a purity group, the Purity Pioneers to help steer her own son and the church’s other teenagers away from making the same mistakes she made as a teen.  Carlene enlists the teenager Pioneers to help her set up a “Heck (Hell) House” full of horrors about sex to scare teenagers into remaining pure.  Amanda (another main character and mom) is disgusted by Carlene’s attempt to scare the teenagers into purity and asks Carlene why they can’t just be honest and tell their sons and daughters the truth about sex, and Carlene replies, “This is America… Fear works better.”

Does this sound familiar?  Have you and your spouse ever been so terrified by the thought of your little son or daughter becoming interested in sex and sexual things that you take a fear-based approach?  Have you created an insane hall of horrors when you talk about sex with your kids?  When I talk to kids, so often they share that the main information they have heard from adults is that if they have sex or start crossing boundaries, their life will be a living hell.  People tell them that they’ll be labeled a slut, that they’ll get an STD, be discarded or become pregnant.  Adults take a fear-based approach and skip over God’s truth; mainly, that in the right context, sex truly is divine.

Near the episode’s conclusion, Carlene and Amanda agree to share their sex testimonies with each other’s teenagers.  They are honest about how and why they were tempted into various situations and essentially share that they wish they had done things differently.

Parents: I believe that it’s important to give our kids the real facts about sex.  If they ask questions, then perhaps you should consider just being honest with them.  It’s only natural for them to want to feel affirmed, beautiful, and sexy and to be turned on.  We’ve all been there before, and God created us as sexual beings.  Yes, STDs are a real concern and there can be serious repercussions to having sex outside of marriage, but the bigger, broader message is to help our kids understand God’s good plan for marriage, so when they say “no” to sex now, they can say “yes” to sex inside of marriage.  We need to help them understand why the waiting is worth it.  For more information on talking to your kids about sex, check out our parent resources here.

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  • Suri

    If the objective is to stop prematital sex, then fear probably does work better. It is a very effective motivator. There are two broader problems with that approach though.

    Firstly, its all-or-nothing. Focusing on building fear rather than risk-management techniques like contraception means that if the subject does go on to prematital sex (and some inevitably will) they are unprepared. If you lay off the fear and focus on management, then even if sex is more likely the risk of disease and pregnancy is lower.

    That is why the big debate in school sex-ed campaigns. The comprehensive faction doesn’t care about premarital sex at all, they just want to minimise the rates of unwanted pregnancy and disease, while the abstinence faction consider preventing sex an end in itself. They can never reach agreement because they have different objectives.

    The second problem is cultural. Christians do have a bit if a reputation problem – they tend to be regarded as prudish, sex-hating killjoys. Taking the fear approach feeds into that reputation, to the detriment of all Christians who find their views dismissed without consideration as nothing but an effort to impose religion.

  • Mark Twain

    There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

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