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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

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Love + Sex = Feeling Lonely

by Mat Maynard on February 28th, 2013 in Pastors

So it’s February, the month of love, the month to go all out, be romantic for your special someone, or try and find a last minute date, or if you’re like me and dating isn’t priority right now, you will be spending your 14th alone or with other single friends, where undoubtly you will all comment on how alone you are, and how much despair and heartache your last ex put you through. Or you’re a full on legend and you handle it greatly being single, you focus on God, and you have it all together.

So yeah, I’m single, I am single as can be, honestly it’s by choice, I believe for me I’ll be leaving Grand Haven over the next year or so, looking for another church position elsewhere. So the choice is easy for me, I don’t want to start something and then uproot and have it affect both of our lives. Easy for me, easy as in a logical sense, but that doesn’t make the feelings any less, doesn’t mean I don’t want an amazing Godly woman in my life, whom I can love and serve.

Which in those moments, somewhere between seeing a cute girl, wanting someone to walk down the snow filled road with, and reminiscing on past loves and flames, somewhere in between those thought, the lie enters in.

There’s always a lie from the enemy trying to creep in, that’s just his M.O., it’s what he does, he lives and breathes to drag us to hell. And it’s really easy when he can attack and steal our heart. I can recall a day in my own life not that far back, where everyone in my life had someone, my friends that were girls had their guys, and my boys had their girls, and here I am all to myself, sure it’s by choice, but the thought passed my mind a thousand times. A thousand times the, “I could be with her,” “maybe I should call her up,” “you know I miss ___, I’ll give her a shout.” And the big problem with that, is the ones I would reminisce on were great, godly woman who I had previously date, but the ones we always think about calling up, or meeting up with are almost always the ones we know can give us immediate physical and emotional affirmation or pleasure. There the ones we brokenly pray upon to fill this void and need, we know that we can get what we want with almost no effort.

It’s disgusting, but that’s the lie we so easily fall for, we get tripped up because of this void. The truth is we were designed to have a mate, the two become one flesh. The two genders were created to fulfill a purpose in each other’s lives. So it’s completely intentional that we need that relationship, that we need a wife or a husband. And when we’re broken like most of us are, lacking that relationship even if it’s on purpose can be the perfect entry for the enemy to get in our ear, tell us exactly what our flesh wants to hear, and next thing you know we’re calling, texting, emailing, whomever, boy, girl, anyone we can get that instant gratification from.

In some extreme cases, (which I’m not sure is so rare anymore) some will even get what they need from someone of the same sex, because they know they can, they can be completely repulsed by the idea, completely repulsed by the lifestyle, and yet because they can get off or get what they need to fill that lonely void with a body for 20 minutes they will.

That’s how far the enemy can get you to go. Some will read this and not want to agree that, that’s possible, but it is. I’ve disciple young men who have gone through that very alley. Where you can be so lonely and so broken that you will take anything and any way you can to get what you believe you need.

With all of this being said, that is reality, let me tell you the good news, Jesus.

Yeah that seems basic, but He Himself said “See first the Kingdom of Heaven, and ALL else will be added onto you.” Matthew 6:33.

And He meant that, see Him first, and He will add it all onto you. If God’s plan for your life is that you’re free, whole, healed, and without bondage and to have a spouse and a ministry, don’t you think He’s prepared someone for you that will benefit and compliment you the most and vice versa?

Now I’m not talking about a Disney tale of “The ONE!” but that He knew you and your one day spouse before you were born, He knew the temptation and sin you would have in this life and in His word for all mankind He said, “Seek first the Kingdom…” We do that and He pours it ALL back onto us.

Doesn’t mean it will be easy, doesn’t mean it won’t ever be lonely, in fact the Christian life is often more lonely in terms of a significant other because they are so scarce to find, but trust Him when He says He will add ALL onto you.

In the times of loneliness, make yourself not alone, get people around you, other guys if you’re a guy or girls if you’re a girl, who will keep you accountable, who will slap you for reminiscing, who will build you up and encourage you, and that will point to the beauty of Jesus in times of the enemy whispering at you.

It’s a fight, it is, more times than not you have to go completely out of your way, completely out of your comfort zone to put up the walls against the enemy.

But be encouraged, Jesus has overcome the world. His word says we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony, see wise council from Pastors or Leaders in your life that have overcome what you’re going through, let their story strengthen you.

I pray this blessed you and encouraged you to seek Him first, and to get people around you who will build you up, strengthen you, and slap you when you need it! 😉

In Him,

Mat.

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