Great comments from everyone! Thank you! I will attempt to respond to the questions over the next few days in a series of posts and give you my take on this. I really think Cook’s story offers some powerful spiritual insights into sexual integrity and a man’s heart. Here’s my answer to question #1:
1. Do Christian guys get to indulge in porn because their wives don’t give them any attention?
The obvious answer is absolutely NO! But you can see where entitlement plays a big role here. It’s easy for me to say, “Well since I’m not being taken care of by my wife I’ll just have to take care of myself!” There is that argument that I deserve some sexual gratification because I work hard and provide for my family. Still the issue isn’t whether or not you should receive sexual gratification the issue is how do you honor God and your spouse in receiving sexual intimacy, since it (sexual fulfillment) is a legitimate desire for all of us.
If our spouses aren’t giving us any attention and if we aren’t receiving sexual fulfillment in our marriages then the issue isn’t necassarily sex it may have more to do with why I can’t seem to capture my wife’s attention or perhaps why she doesn’t hold our attention.
In my opinion men who use the inattentiveness of a their spouse as an excuse to indulge in porn and masturbation or even a physical affair are lacking the courage to step up and really pursue intimacy with their wives. Porn and affairs are an easy way out of pursuing a legitimate relationship with one’s spouse.
We all crave attention there’s no question about that. Just think of how intoxicating a compliment from a member of the opposite sex is. When someone notices us it is exciting. How we handle that attention reveals much about our hearts, our motives, and our integrity. My guess is Peter Cook was seduced by the attention from the young lady he had an affair with, it made him feel powerful, significant, and valued.
What I’ve noticed is that both husband and wife often ignore the signs of marital decay and simply muddle along with very little attention given to the fact that their marriage has become merely a convenient cohabitation. Both often ignore and show very little interest in the other until someone pursues another relationship or is cought looking at porn. It doesn’t excuse an affair or the porn but it reveals just how intentional we have to be in our relationship or we’ll find ourselves looking for something else.
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