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Can Struggling with Porn Just Be My “Lot in Life?”

by Craig Gross on February 11th, 2019 in Podcast, Men, Women, Students

Hey, it’s Craig. This week, I’m talking about a couple of “frequently asked questions” I often receive: “Is watching porn just my lot in life? Am I always going to struggle? Am I always going to be addicted?”

I get it. If you’re struggling with porn today, it’s very defeating. The Bible says that sin clouds our vision from seeing Christ clearly. You feel shame and guilt and – like our “first parents” in the garden – it makes you want to hide. You don’t want to get caught, and you’re walking around with fig leaves trying to cover up your embarrassment. Rather than seeking the Lord for new clothes, you resort to thinking, “I’m always going to be like this.”

You haven’t dealt with the pain that’s exists beneath the problem. So if you’re asking me, “Hey, am I always gonna struggle…?”

Yeah, you’re going to struggle unless you make some changes in your life. And today’s the day to make them.

It might not look like you can get unstuck, but 80% is just your mindset. Like, “You know what? I’m not going to look at porn again. I’m not going to keep having sex with my girlfriend. I’m not going to keep doing whatever I know is dragging me down.”

Don’t use your circumstances as an excuse. Don’t say, “I’m always going to look at porn. I’m always going to end up doing the wrong thing.”

No. We can practice self-control. We can be disciplined. We can create new habits in life. We can involve ourselves in communities that support us.

I’m tired of grown-ass men with no friends. And porn will do that to you. 

You haven’t let anybody in because you’re embarrassed. You’re ashamed. You need a friend – whether that’s finding a community at your church or joining AA or signing up for our Small Groups Online…

You need a friend.

A friend won’t say to you, “Oh yeah, it just sucks to be you, man. You’re always going to be broke. You’re always going to be poor. You’re always going to be fat. You’re always going to be an addict.”

No. Friends will encourage you and understand you.

Start looking people in the eyes. Start asking your friends to come alongside you in your times of need. There is no shame in that. 

Stop telling yourself it’s your lot in life. Start believing that there’s actually something better waiting for you around the corner. I promise you: there is.

MY FAVORITE QUOTES FROM THIS PODCAST EPISODE

  • There’s a better life for you than the one you’re living.
  • Do you think Tom Brady walks around thinking, “I’m always going to lose” just because he’s lost some games? 80% is your mindset.
  • Instead of a defeated mentality, every time whatever you’re dealing with happens, ask yourself, “What do I need to do to change?”
  • We can practice self-control. We can be disciplined. We can create new habits in our life. We can get involved in communities that support us.
  • I’m tired of grown-ass men with no friends. Porn will do that to you.
  • When you find community that understands you – and gets you and encourages you – they will tell you to stop asking if porn is just always going to be your lot in life.
  • It’s worth it to find a friend.
  • Get out of your house – away from the screen, away from the phone – and go get around people who are going to bring life to you. They’re going to speak truth to you, and they’re going to be there in the good and the bad. Get some accountability.

 

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