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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
This is an excellent book. Thanks for all the hard work you put into writing it.
To the question. On page 111 you write that sex should only be between “partners”, why not one man, one woman?
Thanks
Paul
It is ment to be taken as one man & one woman.
Long story short, my entire family has battled demons throughout all my childhood. In the end though when the dust settled, I’ve found myself losing control.
I was raised to believe in the Lord. So while my faith isnt the strongest, I do stand before him often and talk. I stand up for my faith regularly against others, and i never question His methods.
I’ve been stuck in a rutt though with Pornography, particularly on the internet. I would look it up at home, and found all sorts of ways to stop others from finding out. I’ve tried countless monitoring programs, but I have no friends in which i can confess my problems with, so I find myself often bypassing such programs in order to sin. I got a laptop, with wireless internet, so things got worse. Even when i moved away to a business, i would find myself looking for it when the business closed and the place was empty.
Im curious as to what i can do, or how i can go about stopping this sin. I’ve let demons inside me and i continue to help them, and even when i finally think im going to quit, i slowly end up in the same place. I pray to god for him to forgive, though i know he doesnt forget. And neither do I. It sickens me so i finally bring myself to ask publicly: What can i do to help myself?
From here you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. I know you said that you do not have anyone but, what about the church? Is there anyone thee or how about going to see a counselor? Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com. You should also place a filter on your computer as well. This would be like having an alarm on your house and then locking the door with both of these on your computer. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.
You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all
comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.
All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.
Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.
Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may nit have before.
Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.
Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.
Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.
How do I remove the email address of an accountability partner? our relationship has deteriorated over the past year and I do not feel like I can trust this person with my accountability.
You open up X3 Watch or double clik the green “X” in the lower right corne of the system. From there the X3 Watch program should bring up a pop up window. You can change the address’s ther.
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