Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

Building trust after porn

What should a man do to build the trust of his partner after her finding out that he’s been watching porn and hiding other things from her?

This is a great question! I would say the only way to rebuild trust is for you to work on you and get the help you need to walk this out. Be honest and forthright and make sure you have set yourself up to succeed. As she sees your integrity improving in your own walk she will start to feel more secure. The problem with just focusing on doing things to “win her” is that ultimately it’s going to fail. You can’t do this for anyone else but you and for who God has called you to be. His word says to seek him first and then everything else will fall into place. 😉

Frustration of a sexless marriage

I have been struggling with porn and a sexless marriage for a year and a half now. While my wife and I are strong devoted Christians, we aren’t doing well in many aspects relating to sex life. Every time I pursue sex in a romantic way she refuses it all and comes up with an excuse. She recently told me sex isn’t a big thing in marriage to her belief and Bible doesn’t talks about foreplay. I do believe Solomon in the bible clearly talks about man and woman in a seductive way. She also tells me she doesn’t like nor want sex and she lied to me about faking orgasms. We only had sex during ovulation times for three months and we conceived our child and that was the end of sex life. I am trying for marriage counseling which I have already attended but she refuses it. I’m struggling in all this with porn and loniness. What am I suppose to do about my marriage? I know I was to stop porn and masturbation. God sees my struggling marriage and I need out since my wife doesn’t agree about what bible says about sex. Any men struggling like me?

You are definitely not alone and as a woman this makes me so sad when other women do not see the importance of sex not just for the union of the marriage BUT for the building up of her husband. This is such a vital part of marriage. I would highly recommend that you both go to counseling together. She definitely needs someone other than you to guide her in seeing her role in this and how selfish it is.

Marriage

I have a question. Is it a sin to masturbate while thinking of your wife. The reason I ask is because my wife and I waited to have sex until marriage but we can not have sex much because she states that it hurts. We have been to the doctor and the doctor can not find anything wrong. We have been marriaged for 3 years and when we do have sex like once every three weeks I can not put my private part all the way in or she will have to stop immediately. So I ask can you masturbate while thinking only of your wife or is that a sin.

Hey Carl,

I appreciate your dilemma. You are not the first couple to experience these challenges. But I’m still unclear as to why you would need to masturbate. There are other things you and your wife can do to bring about the oneness in the marriagebed that leads to orgasm. Maybe instead of a physician you and your wife might consider a counselor to help you work through some other options together.