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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Hi, I have developed very strong feelings for a lovely Christian woman, who happens to be separated from her husband and is going through a divorce (because of her husband’s infidelity). She was already separated from him for a while before we met, and then we began to like each other and started dating secretly (without anyone at our church knowing). But then I became convicted that it was sinful to date her until her divorce was completely finalised, so I broke things off with her, and she agreed about the reasons. Currently, we are waiting for her divorce to come through, but it is clear that we both still feel the same way, so much so that we have talked about perhaps one day getting married. We don’t know exactly when the divorce paperwork will be finalised. But my question is this: if/when the divorce is finalised and she is no longer married on paper, when would be the right time to start dating again? Could we start dating as soon as the divorce comes through, or should we wait for a while and see what happens? I do still care very much about her; however, I do also want to do the right thing in God’s eyes. I feel that she is probably the right person for me, but I am still unsure of whether it is right to immediately rush into dating once she is divorced. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
God bless your heart. Not only are you honoring God but you are honoring this woman in your decision.
I know that you haven’t told anyone and you are probably really hesitant to do so but I am going to suggest that you go to the pastor and discuss this. I cannot tell you the answer to this question. I think it is something you both need to discern with God and I do believe the pastor can help you discern without bias.
God bless you both.
I am 22 years old and i am addicted to porn and masturbation. My dad is a homosex. Will it impact me. Always my friends comment my behaviours are lyk gals. How to overcome all this ?????
I do not believe that because your dad is living a homosexual lifestyle that you will also. What kind of friends are focusing on your mannerisms? The question I have for you would be: Are you attracted to men or to women. If it is women then I don’t think you need to be concerned about becoming a homosexual. If you are attracted to men I still do not think that it means you are homosexual. We could get into a lot of the psychological aspects of the effect your father’s influence may have played in your life but it still does not necessarly mean that you will practice a homosexual lifestyle.
If you are a Christian, you find your identity in Christ. Not your earthly father or your friends.
Stay in His Word- it was written for you and holds many promises that you are entitled to if you are a Christian.
God bless you.
I was sober for 18 months and have been attending a recovery group for 2 years now. I lost my sobriety and had several slip-ups in the past 3 months and told my recovery group every week, but I did not tell my wife until last week. She was very mad at me for not telling her, even though I was honest with my group. I have heard the phrase, ‘your wife should not be your accountability partner,’ but what does that mean? Should I still tell my wife every time I slip up like I tell my group? That sounds a lot like she’s an accountability partner. Thank you for any advice you can offer.
Wives can most definitely feel miffed when others know before them that their marriage bed, has been compromised– your intimacy and one-ness. I believe this is a personal discussion and conclusion that only you and your wife can decide. While it is true the reason many do not believe wives make good accountability partners for husband’s struggling with porn or sex addiction is because they are biased (rightfully so) and directly affected by what they would be trying to hold their husband accountable to— it can just get messy.
However, I do believe that the bible is clear that in marriage, husband and wife become ONE. Your spouse comes before any other person (after God of course) and that includes a recovery group or accountability person. So if you know that your wife wants to be informed when/ if you turn to porn or other women then rightfully give her that.
That’s my take on it anyway. God’s best to you both.
MT
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