Questions

We have so many resources available here at XXXchurch.com in every category and in the start here section.  I am going to assume that you have exhausted all of those resources and are asking for more help.

I would say that someone who is out of control in their addiction ( you said you strive hard to be a God fearing man but bottom line is that you’d have sex with anyone at anytime)   needs a live-in program.    Pure Life Ministries offers a live in program for men just like you.  They have counselors on staff if you want to reach out to them.

You do not “deserve” to be alone from God or from your wife.   Feeling isolated or distanced is definitely a consequence of habitual sin but I wouldn’t go as far as saying you deserve to be alone.   We need mercy.  God is merciful and kind, forgiving, loving, compassionate and slow to anger.   Wives don’t typically tend to be upon the first discovery.  They are hurt, they are sad, they are angry, this triggers thoughts of insecurity- not being enough- wondering if it is their fault and so much more.  But God will use this to bring your wife closer to Him.

Seek out a peer group.  We’ve got the X3groups running strong- AND there is even X3groups for spouses!  (Be sure to ask about the same household discount!)   Seek out a pastor or counselor for some care for you and for your wife.

Check out our many resources in both the men’s section and the spouses section here on XXXchurch.com.  If you need specific exhaustive resources go to the START HERE section.

Thanks for your question.

There are a couple of things I want to mention.   First- if you are struggling with an unwanted sexual addiction or behavior, I would highly recommend seeing a counselor.  Porn use is pretty common to man and is highly addictive so most other men can counsel you on it and walk you through it.  Bring in a fascination with or addiction to transgender and many are just not going to understand and when they are stumped, you are going to be in even more despair.  So I would recommend seeking out a professional counselor who has dealt with this specific issue.  www.SASH.net can help you find a local specialist in your area.     Second, you said you are denying yourself like it says in the bible.   If we truly denied ourselves the desires of the flesh we wouldn’t continue to fall.   I would say that to deny yourself in this area would mean that you need to cut off all the things that are feeding the root system of this core issue.  If you use your computer to seek out transgender porn or encounters then at best get rid of it- at least put a filtering and blocking software on it so you are unable to use it as a way to feed your addiction.  If it is your phone… get rid of it– go back to a phone without internet.

Many will make a list of excuses of why they can’t do that.  (I need it for work/ school / this / that/ insert excuse here.  But if you want to be FREE you will do whatever it takes and then allow God to restore you and lift you up.  He will care for you.

Best wishes.