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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
My husband confessed to me that he has been looking at porn and has been masturbating. We have been married for 9 years. we just had out third child who is 7months old now. He has said that it his has not been going on for more than few months. I am not sexually or emotionally unavailable, I think anyway. We are very much in love and have a good marriage. Because he has chosen himself over me I fight feeling rejected and angry. And I fight wanting to withdrawal from him. I don’t think this is what i should do but now I wonder if he is even thinking of me while we are intimate and I really don’t add up to what he has been looking at so that makes me feel lower yet. I realize that this is not as much to do with me as it does him, but I am still affected. I know there is a way through this with Christ and I think maybe there is something I can do to actively support him to over come this as he wants to. I just don’t know what that looks like. I also don’t know how I should respond to him and how to navigate through my emotions. Thanks for your time, Jj
We understand how hard it is with what you are currently going through with your husband.
I can let you know that you currently are doing the best thing you can right now and that is standing by him. I understand that you do not want to pressure him in to getting help but, this is an issue that is affecting your marriage and there is no reasons why the two of you can not talk about it.
When you do talk to him make sure it is in a loving way and not one that will make him feel as though he is being backed into a corner. When guys feel this way the feel loss of respect and typically come out swinging.
Be honest with him and let him know how this makes you feel. He needs to know that his actions are affecting you as well. More often men feel that they are not hurting anyone because this is a private sin that they hold onto tightly to keep for their selfish needs.
I would also encourage him to talk to some one and get accountability for this too. Someone other than you who can ask the tough questions and hold him to his desire for purity. He should also look into getting X3 Watch for any computer of mobile device that he has. This will send a report to his accountability partner letting him know if he has viewed any adult content sites.
You also need to get some healing from this and I have a few things I hope you take into action. If you belong to a church I would recommend talking to someone there whom you trust and can either help you or point you into a direction of someone who can. You need to be able to ask questions, receive guidance, and have someone who will pray for you and support you during this time.
There are two sites as well that I would like for you to check into as well that I feel will be a good help for you. The first is Partners For Purity at www.partnersforpurity.com. This is a group of women who know where you are at right now and will be able to provide some great insight into what you are going through and will go through. The next one is Porn to Purity at www.porntopurity.com. Seek out the wives section of the site. Marsha Fisher is a strong women who has been there and she will offer up her wisdom to you from her own personal experience.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that neither is your husband. God is so amazing and He wants so much for your marriage to be restored. Also know that He is so proud of you that you have stood by your husband and that you are willing to fight for your marriage. We will be praying for you her as well as you make the next steps.
Does the x3watch or x3watch pro work with the new microsoft surface tablet and windows 8 phones?
I am sory but, at this time it does not.
Just wondering where you guys draw the line about what are wholesome sexual thoughts and what are sinful ones. If someone thinks sexual thoughts about their spouse I believe that is their right, and as long as said spouse is aware of it, then it’s not at all sinful. That leads me to the question of people who are engaged, or just dating? How close do you have to be to someone before it is acceptable to think of them in this way? If you love someone and have every intention of marrying them, but they’re not your wife, does that make it wrong to imagine yourself as their husband, in a sexual sense?
OK, sexual thoughts happen and do cross your mind from time to time. The difference is how do you handle these thoughts? Do you go beyond that thought and turn it into a sexual scene in your head and keep thinking about it? Do you masturbate to it? How far do you take it? If you answered yes to any of these it has become lust and lusting after your girlfriend is not right, this would be considered a sin.
Again if it is just a thought and you move on and walk away form this thought, it is just that a thought. Yes, it is good for a married couple to be thinking about one another as the two of them are a couple and have made a covenant with God. God wants these two to have sex as it is an amazing gift that He has given them.
I hope this makes sense and know that we are praying for you.
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