Questions


Frequently Asked Questions.

Between my relationship with my girlfriend

Hi im darren from the Philippine , I just want to ask for your opinion i has been 5 years since my girl friend said yes to me. She was my best friend before I courted her, we have been doing sexual activity for the past years, we are both Christians, I would like o know what is the best way for us stop this sexual addiction, at 1st I plan to break up with her because I thought that is the best way to stop it,. Is it the best solution? Thank you and Godbless.

First  you guys need to make a commitment with yourselves and God.

Second you need to set boundreis with your girlfriend. Know when you need to walk away from each other when things get to close and are heading into a sexual state of mind.

Breaking up is not the answer here, this is something you need to work on before this becomes an issue in your life.

Lust

Hey Guys..I’m 24 and I fell with premarital sex with a girl. It felt awful and I ask God for forgiveness. It has been 3 years since then and I still believe I’m healing the wounds that are left in me because of what I did. I don’t struggle that much with porn now, but I struggle in my mind..I think about sex a lot throughout the day. I pray instantly and ask the Holy Spirit to fight this battle with me and I believe with God’s help I’m doing a lot better today, but there’s one thing: I’m attracted to a girl of my church, we are very good friends. There are sometimes that when I’m around her, I get an erection and I really can’t understand why. At the moment I’m not thinking lustfully or having sex with her, but it’s like something I can’t stop sometimes. Sometimes I think is because of what I did, it’s like my body instantly wants physical affection and I get an erection very easily. I really want to change, I really don’t want to be or feel this way, I feel because of my mistake I completely ruined my future sex life with my wife. How can I get rid of this?

I would really suggest for you to find someone in your church who you r can ask to be an accountability partner. This person would be able to hold you to the standards you need to uphold, encourage you, and also hold your feet to the fir when needed.

This would be best if it were someone your elder. You also need to retrain your brain to think differently then what you have been doing. I would suggest two books to help with this. one; Pure Eyes and two; Every Young Man’s Battle. These will be great tools to help with this.

Sex and Exercise

God is healing me from an addiction to homosexual pornography. I have read the book ‘The Fantasy Fallacy’ by Shannon Ethridge and found it very helping and has guided me in the healing process, helping me to identify some of the emotional needs or holes I am trying to fill when I have struggled with pornography. At the same time, I am finding that I am gaining weight, that my clothes are not fitting as well as they used to. I have been thinking about starting to exercise, but I find that the thing that gets me most motivated to exercise is building muscles to look buff and attractive. While I know that are many psychological benefits to exercising which may help me in my recovery process (releasing endorphines and stress in healthy ways rather than the unhealthy ways I have been using) I am concerned about the fact that I really only find my motivation to exercise in the desire to look attractive. Is this a sign of some need I am trying to fulfill in an inappropriate way? Am I seeking to find my identity in something other than God by wanting to work out and look good? I don’t think this is true for everyone who works out, but I have wondered if part of my struggle with homosexual pornography has to do with the fact that I have always wanted to be athletic and attractive (I don’t think I’m ugly, though) and I was envious of what other guys had. I don’t think that’s the whole story behind my struggle, but I have wondered if it is part of it. Does this mean I should just let me body go because God loves me no matter what I look like?

NO, you do not let your body go just because of this. It is alright to feel good about yourself, your shape, and your body. It is OK to want to be attractive. The problem though comes in if you make it an idol or take it to addictive levels that removes you from a healthy relationship with God.

Go exercise, get healthy, and feel good about yourself.

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