Frequently Asked Questions.

Masturbation & Pornography

I was addicted, but was clean for 6 months. Now I’m right back where I started. I’ve lost my conviction & I want help. I don’t know what to do?

Yes- once we become enslaved again to sin it can be doubly troubling.  It reminds of the scripture in Matthew chapter 12 verses 43-45 where we are warned that if we clean sin out of our and then don’t stay in the light it will come back seven times greater than it was before.

“Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it. “Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came’; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order.“Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation.”

However,  there is hope when we fail.  There is hope in the Truth and in the Light.   We know that we cannot trust our feelings but we can trust what is True.

God is faithful and God is true.  There are many suggestions in the Word to guide us in getting right with God.  You have to be proactive and take those steps.  The feelings will come later.

Spend some time in our blogs.  There is so much GOOD information there.   Get REAL accountability in your life.  

You were clean for 6 months so you KNOW that it is POSSIBLE with Christ.  You can do it with His strength.

Best wishes

kids porn

I just want to leave my family over porn. I’m tired of being surrounded on it. My son has a problem that the warning signs did not exist for five years. The horror and shock that went through me when I found him with it went through me like a knife and I flipped my lid. My son hates me now. It’s only been a week. He thinks I don’t love him. He thinks I’m out to destroy the family. He thinks I love his cousins that I raise more than him. The past scars were ripped own and are bleeding. The youth pastor even admits he didn’t see the signs. My heart is no longer in for fighting for family just protecting girls. Another boy child I raise has been at it for a year, I discovered as well. I feel like I am choking. I no longer want to be with my husband. I want to leave. The reality is the disease of porn has poisoned their hears to the point the need of a mother no longer exists. All my teachings thrown away. The only reason I am still in my home is due to responsibilities and being the bigger person. I have gone to counseling at a women’s center for three and half years. I’ve been disowned by family for caring for three children to get them away from abuse and neglect as much as I can. I’m exhausted by the world of men. I want my family, my home, my husband, but it doesn’t seem to be attainable to hang on to. I’ve brought my family before God since the day they were born. None of it matters. I’m trying to find a counselor that will work with my son that works with my insurance, takes new patients, or won’t break the bank. I’m going through the motions. I’m not sure what I’m fighting for. I don’t believe that even with God, I can be successful in helping them. I’ve done a lot to lay down the wall. I’m married, but feel like I’m the one wearing the pants. My son hates me. Why stay when kids don’t love you for trying to do everything right and the men have exhausted me to the point there isn’t anything left of me. I don’t know how to help when I hurt this bad.

I am so sorry you are hurting.   Respectfully though… “why stay?”

Because you made a covenant with God and your spouse.  You chose to have children.  You chose to take in ones in need.   I understand completely that you are exhausted and I do think taking a much needed restful vacation is in order but to have such strong feelings of abandoning ship because life isn’t what you feel it should be or what you deserve is not the answer.

You are tired and you are weary.  You need rest and rejuvenation.  Please seek out that vacation for yourself and then get right back into some counseling.   Pure Life Ministries offers biblical counseling and they’ve been counseling around this subject for over 25 years.

I’m going to say a prayer for you.

God bless you dear one.

Dating a divorcee

Hi, I have developed very strong feelings for a lovely Christian woman, who happens to be separated from her husband and is going through a divorce (because of her husband’s infidelity). She was already separated from him for a while before we met, and then we began to like each other and started dating secretly (without anyone at our church knowing). But then I became convicted that it was sinful to date her until her divorce was completely finalised, so I broke things off with her, and she agreed about the reasons. Currently, we are waiting for her divorce to come through, but it is clear that we both still feel the same way, so much so that we have talked about perhaps one day getting married. We don’t know exactly when the divorce paperwork will be finalised. But my question is this: if/when the divorce is finalised and she is no longer married on paper, when would be the right time to start dating again? Could we start dating as soon as the divorce comes through, or should we wait for a while and see what happens? I do still care very much about her; however, I do also want to do the right thing in God’s eyes. I feel that she is probably the right person for me, but I am still unsure of whether it is right to immediately rush into dating once she is divorced. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

God bless your heart.  Not only are you honoring God but you are honoring this woman in your decision.

I know that you haven’t told anyone and you are probably really hesitant to do so but I am going to suggest that you go to the pastor and discuss this.  I cannot tell you the answer to this question.  I think it is something you both need to discern with God and I do believe the pastor can help you discern without bias.

God bless you both.


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