Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

Sexual immorality- help!

So I was addicted to porn for a few years on and off during high school but always new it was wrong. I finally got X3, a few accountability partners, and some incentive to pursue Jesus and got over my addiction! Pretty awesome. For some time I’ve been dealing with masturbation and actually trying to quit. I actually did the 15 day challenge but shortly after got back in the groove. With all of this, honestly I’m wicked horny. Like I know that I think of sex more than any of my friends (even the ones who do have sex). With all of this struggling, my girlfriend and I have been really struggling and things have gotten pretty physical lately. Like we always know it’s wrong and always catch ourselves, but I’m scared we won’t and so is she. We’ve stopped making out (as that’s where everything usually starts), but Im just scared and thought someone who is older and may have been through this could help me with some advice, things to do or try, or something. Also, it’s not like my girlfriend isn’t Christian. She’s seriously an amazing girl who loves Jesus and is by far out of my league. We both know any form is sexual stuff is wrong and understand and grasp why Jesus doesn’t want us to and how Im Supposed to be a picture of Him and she’s an image of the church. I feel like im degrading her and wish that I could go back and just smack myself. Like I know they joke about guys not having enough blood to run their brain and schlong but it’s true. I just need some advice about the whole thing. I’d appreciate anything. I feel like all guys with serious girlfriends struggle with this and I can’t figure out how they don’t mess up. Or is it just that no one talks about it? Thanks

You are right that this is a normal desire.  Especially towards someone you love and care about.   However  you are also right when you say that you feel like you are degrading her (and yourself) by stepping outside of the boundaries.  Oh wait!  It doesn’t sound like you have them in place  yet.    Every couple that I know who remained pure throughout their relationships had boundaries and true accountability in place.   A boundary is often looked at as a bad thing or a punishment — it is the exact opposite.    A good boundary to have in place would be zero alone time behind closed doors.  Yep, you read that right.   Clearly you are not going to have sex in the middle of Central Park or at a restaurant or on a double date with another couple (and if you do there are bigger fish to fry!) So my take is to stay public with your relationship.   Have accountability in place.  Accountability to the extent that you talk to someone you know and trust about this and you ask them to ask you about it and your boundaries often to hold you accountable.  The same goes for your girlfriend.

If you really want to honor her and God in the relationship you will do whatever it takes to hold onto integrity.

Check out Craig Gross’ new book OPEN which talks all about accountability, who needs it, and what it should look like.

Best wishes!

Fourteen year-old son asking for guidance

My oldest (14 y-o boy) shared with me that his friends, starting just recently, are now openly talking about pornography and masturbation. He feels so much pressure from them and, now, from his natural urges. He asked me last night for help in resisting the temptation to look. He said he feels such a desire as he’s seen some images before but feels like he made a commitment to himself not to look at porn. He even told his friends that (met with astonishment). He’s asking for help and guidance. Q – What would be the best way to start this conversation/guidance so that he knows I/we love him and can help? (I want to be realistic…I want to equip him to be strong to resist and make wise decisions, not just “ban” him as that seems to be a recipe for guilt and self loathing). Thanks

Hey Rob!

What an awesome relationship you share with your son that he felt safe enough to come to you and talk openly about this!  Kudos to you.   So many parents can learn from this.

We have an entire section devoted to parents and one for students.  Spend some time there and spend some time with your son there.

You may also be interested in going through the X3pure workshop with him.  If interested hit up [email protected] and  mention this conversation and she’ll give you a sweet discount!

Best wishes!

X3watch

Hi, I think that the work you guys do is amazing and would like to thank you for it. A big thing with internet browsers with in the past few years is the “Private” or “Incognito” browsers that don’t save your internet history, cookies, etc. Does X3watch still work and monitor in those types of modes?

Hi Matthew,

Thanks for the support!  

Yes;  X3watch does work to monitor those secret browsers!

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