Questions


Frequently Asked Questions.

you have good posts, but consider…

The “this is a man’s world” premise seems to live in your ministry, or at least your posts. It should not: you have so many opportunities to help women. Is this by design?

By design?   No… we cater specifically to the needs of people.  We understand that women struggle with pornography and with sex addiction— we’ve been saying it for years but we also know the stats still show that men are the majority. The content is primarily written by those with the experience and victory in those areas.   We do have an entire section for women that is exclusive for you ladies.

If you want to write and you’ve got good content then by all means hit up Carl and let him know you’re interested in providing content and or resources for women.

Porn addiction

How can anyone or even God forgive me for saying and trying to cut porn out of my life when all I do is keep failing over and over again? I believe if one continues to commit the same sin over and over again then it’s no longer a mistake but a habit. How can I forgive myself for doing this too? Sometimes I just want to end my life so I don’t have to feel so bad about what I’ve done. Sometimes I feel like a worthless human being and don’t deserve forgiveness or to even live. I constantly battle with both depression and porn. How can I go on when I know I’ll just fail again?

Jesus did not come for the healthy,  He came for the sick.  He came for the oppressed. He came for those trapped in bondage to sin.

I’m not sure how you are going at your attempt towards freedom but by your own admission what you have done thus far is not working—therefore let me help you to change it up.   I really don’t think you are being completely honest with someone else about your struggle.  Often times this battle is fought alone and that is why it is never won.  Isolation is not the way to go– no matter how guilty or ashamed you feel.   You need others to join you in this battle and crusade around you– with you to help you face the war head on.     I’m not saying it is impossible to do on your own but clearly you have not won so that leads me to think that you are trying to master some part of this by yourself.

You need some KEY things in place to set yourself up for a WIN.

1.       Get accountable- Confess this struggle to someone you really trust & who loves you enough to walk through recovery & restoration with you.  Install accountability software & maybe even filtering software like X3watchPro on your devices/computers so you have that extra mile you need to go when feeling tempted to act out.  This may serve as a sobering influence.  All recovery starts with repentance & confession.  You need to shed some light on this darkness & not live isolated in its shame. 

2.       Take the X3pure workshop – This course offers a ton of information that will help you understand the nature of what you are struggling with.  This is a huge help in recovery.  If you feel that your problem is too severe for a “workshop” seek out good Biblical counseling with someone who specializes in this area. Pure Life Ministries is the pioneer of sexual sin/addiction ministry and they offer counseling services and even a live in program for men. 

3.       Sign up for an X3group – Our online recovery groups are a perfect fit for those seeking out accountability & support.  These groups meet weekly & offer you the face to face experience of a small group with other men who struggle with the same issues.  These groups run $30 per month.   If you can’t justify the $30 then at least head out to a local Celebrate Recovery group in your area.  They probably won’t have specific groups for unwanted sexual behavior but you can apply their outline to any addiction. 

YOUR LIFE IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR.   You are worth it.  We care about you.   Step up and seek out help to find true and lasting freedom!

Best wishes!!

Sex with my husband

I’m not even sure if this is a question.. My husband and I have been married for 7 years now, I use to desire him A LOT when he didn’t desire me :(, It was the most painful road God had put me on, So I turned to porn everyday to get my satisfaction, Now I find myself not desiring him and prefer porn :(. When we do have sex once a month if that, we need porn to stimulate us… I need help, I feel like a failure as a wife :(.. I want to desire my husband and to be desired but don’t know where to start.

You start right where you have.  With your eyes open to the reality of what has become of this and then confession.   Next steps are to get your husband on board– let him know you’re done with the porn.   I’m wondering if he doesn’t have his own struggles which created the lack of intimacy from the beginning?   Either way, you need to be done.    For what it’s worth,  I’m proud of you [I’m a woman on team here].   Seek out our resources for women here at XXXchurch.com and also seek out the guidance of a local counselor.    We have a great workshop for women called X3pure  and you would do really well to join an X3group where you could meet regularly with women who have the same struggles.  I would not recommend the spouses group at this time but rather the women’s group. You are not alone and you CAN do this!

Lastly– I don’t want to forget the crisis of the marriage.  I think counseling would be wonderful if he will partake.   I also think the Best Sex Life Now workshop would be great for you both to go through.

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