Questions


Frequently Asked Questions.

men & dating relationship

Hello. For almost five years I have been struggling with pornography. I have

already confessed, I sought advice and mentoring. I have also removed all

temptation that has been in my power, and have even identified the triggers

that lead me to fall. Right now I’m dating a wonderful girl, but she also suffers

from the same struggle with pornography. Their struggle is perhaps not as

strong as mine, and takes less time than me with this problem. But I wonder

What can we do as Christians in a dating relationship ?

What can I do as a Christian boyfriend who also fight against pornography to help her and the relationship?

What can she do as a Christian woman who suffers from this problem in front of his addict boyfriend?
Thank you.

It’s wonderful that you are concerned and care about this area of your relationship and want to preserve wholeness and purity.

Definitely keep the “dating” in public or with other couples.    Make sure you both have same-gender accountability relationships established that you are sharing your successes and challenges with and not each other.  Since you both have struggles in this area it is unwise to discuss the details of struggles that are sexual in nature.

 

And the obvious- pray for each other!

Bad Thoughts

Is it bad or am I a sick person if I have disturbing sexual thought towards family members and people I love dearly? When you have images of porn in your mind your mind can run away with them and it makes it hard. I have started XXXchurch’s watch program with my youth director for personal accountability. I have seeked him out and talked with him about this issue. Any suggestions?

This is what porn seems to do.   Plants seeds of sexual fantasy within the mind– the mind begins to be branded with thoughts of fantasy and for many it can carry over.    All the more reason to stick with accountability and stay away from porn.

I think I misrepresented myself/my wife

Sorry for confusion… yesterday, I did NOT leave the house. I didn’t look at porn, but I didn’t leave the house either. I think that I did not make clear our situation: my wife is hurting DEEPLY from her PTSD. Up until me signing this contract, my porn addiction was almost a daily thing at its worst. Sometimes once a week, sometimes twice a month, sometimes clean for awhile, but still, it was there. I FEEL LIKE I AM KILLING MY WIFE…. PLEASE HELP

But it is not a daily thing anymore.  It is in my opinion that you focus on today.   Today you are NINE WEEKS CLEAN.   Perhaps you didn’t leave the house yesterday (I understood you were home sick) but you also stated you did not look at porn.   I think the guilt of the past is eating you alive and perhaps you both just need to get into some marital counseling.

 

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