Questions


Frequently Asked Questions.

healing wounds

I grew up with out a father figure and any parents really being there to guide me and show me love. I have found my source of problems coming from the fact I feel I was unloved and wish to pursue Men and pornography in order to fill that space. I am 3 days clean from this stuff, of watching porn and viewing it voluntarily, I don’t count my friends posts I must remove as me viewing porn. However my questions is, How can I learn to fill that spot not just with God but a healthy straight relationship, and help make my male relationships which are meant to be friends not lustful, better.

The very first sentence of what you wrote says a lot.

I grew up with out a father figure and any parents really being there to guide me and show me love. I have found my source of problems coming from the fact I feel I was unloved…

The power of love, and equally the results of a lack of love is incredible.    If you are convicted about your porn use and your same-sex attraction and it is something you want to change then I know without a doubt that GOD can empower that choice and really help you to find freedom.

The X3pure workshop talks about the need for unconditional love which is why a relationship with Christ really can set you free.  It doesn’t mean the steps you have to take or the choices you need to make will always be easy but freedom is most definitely possible.  Jesus gives us HOPE and he also gives us the ability to overcome.

My recommendation would be to visit our START HERE section and go from there.  There are many suggested resources. Accountability and talking with a trusted friend or family member is so important.  Also Spend some time reading through the blogs as well as the comments from people just like you.  Consider joining an X3group for peer to peer support.

Best wishes!

Women

My question isn’t directly about porn. but I have struggles with looking up sites and pages that display magazine models and (although not naked tho some of these places show both) namely urban models like video vixens and so on. I have a girl I’m pursuing and although I know I want to be with her it confuses me as to why I look up these pages. The women are beautiful and all but it’s only for lust after their beauty. I’m stuck because I love my girl very much and wouldn’t want her to feel as though she’s not pretty enough or look like these models I look up. I need help as to how to tell her and others I trust in the faith? I need help how to navigate through this. Please and thank you

I need help as to how to tell her and others I trust in the faith? I need help how to navigate through this.

 

First, good for you.  Good for you that you desire to be transparent and have accountability in your life and relationships.   I have a few recommendations for you.

Two books:

1. Through a Man’s Eyes by Craig Gross & Shaunti Feldhahn I think will help you both understand how men are wired better.   This is not to get a free pass on compromising your integrity with regards to the seeking out other women– it just helps to explain the draw better.

2. Open by Craig Gross.   This book really details how accountability relationships should work. What they are meant to be and what they are not meant to be.  Helpful discussions and tips on how to talk about the stuff that is uncomfortable.

Lastly– we have so many resources at XXXchurch.com but you may want to start in the Start Here section.

 

Best wishes.

 

 

Sex within Marriage

Ok, so I know in my heart of hearts that I have been delivered from porn. I had been struggling with it since I was a kid. I am currently doing X3Pure, and loving it, I might I add! Now I am married (5 years) and my wife and I have a great sex life. We have a collection of videos of our love making that we have done in the past. This is for our eyes only, of course! My question is; Is that porn? and is it bad for us to still make videos and watch them later? My wife’s concerned that it may open up the doors for me to want to watch porn again. I have not watched it since I started X3Pure because I wanted to know the answer first. Can you all help??

We believe it can be dangerous for many reasons.

First, you say it is just for your eyes only and so did everyone else who made that statement but somehow their movies were found by others, or worse stolen and sold.

Second, it can be a trigger that causes a desire for more that then leads you on a rabbit trail to other things–so we agree with your wife’s concern.

Lastly, what you and your wife do in your marriage bed is between the two of you and God- ultimately at the end of the day only you can really answer this question for yourself but since you asked us:  We do not think it is wise.

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