Frequently Asked Questions.
13 years ago, my husband admitted to being addicted to porn since before we were married. We have been married 29 years. He will not get help on his own and hates when I try to lead or direct him toward help. He is a Christian. I can now see the cycle. Three Weeks of once-a week sex, then no sex or attention for months. His masturbation has taken it’s toll over the years, and he no longer can have sex with me without masturbating first. I am getting help by taking living free classes at our church. I understand it is not about me. I no longer tolerate his disrespect, verbal beatings, or lack of friendship. I’m so hungry for intimacy. I guess it’s time for my dh to make a move. Do I leave? What do I do? There is no help at our mega church in Ozark, mo. ( Bible belt)
First, I am so sorry to hear that this has been ongoing for so long in your marriage and your husband absolutely refuses to get any help. Second I am terribly sorry that there is no help at your “mega church”- THAT breaks my heart. We have an abundance of resources here in the spouses section. You may need a good community of women who know what you’re going through. Try Partners For Purity. I would also recommend the counseling for wives program that Pure Life Ministries offers. They have wonderful female biblical counselors who have actually walked this out.
I wish you the absolute best and hope that you will definitely seek out others who can support and encourage you as you discern which way to go from here.
My husband and I have recently found our 8 year old son searching porn sites on our and our parents phones. He has been viewing some very hard core stuff. He has told me that being able to see it is worth the punishment. We have cut all media access for him. He says that he just got the idea to look up sex on his own over a year ago. We are at a total loss. We have no idea how to help him heal. Please help!
Thankfully you have intervened in love and are now correcting the situation. I think that continuing to talk openly and honestly to your son about sex and God’s design for sex is so important as is why there is so much counterfeits in the world we live in. We just had a webinar for parents about talking to your kids about sex. Check out: How to talk to your kids about sex.
You may also want to read this article on Parenting Made Easier with regards to living in a world of technology because your 8 year old is going to continue to grow up in this world.
Lastly, seeking out a family counselor and one who specializes in sexual development might be an option for you to give you peace of mind and the freedom for your child to discuss this openly with you.
The key is providiing unconditional love. Ultimately this is not his fault.
I am wondering how if anyone has had or is having their sexual performance effected by extended porn use? If so are there any suggested resources or approaches to help with this?
We’ve heard from so many men and women who tell us that not only does watching porn taint their view of sex as well as their expectations during sex but that masturbation makes it incredibly difficult for them to enjoy healthy sex relying on their spouse for gratification.
While I don’t have any specific resources for you, Philippians 4:8 comes to mind.