Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

My husband’s porn addiction

Hi there, I have been married for almost nine years and my husband has struggled with a porn addiction for all of those and more. Right from day one of our marriage he only occasionally feels like sex. I remember being confused on the second day we got married as he didn’t want to have sex. We maybe will have sex every fortnight. I have issues of a different sort – physical affection and being desired are super important to me. In the early days of our marriage I just assumed my husband had a low sex drive and I would have to deal with it. This resulted in me making some VERY bad decisions and sleeping with someone else as well as having an affair (although we didn’t sleep together). After both of my mistakes we went to councelling and have an incredibly strong marriage now. All but for one thing… my husbands pornography addiction is still there. I don’t know what to do… can you suggest anything? Thanks kindly,

We have many resources in the spouses section of XXXchurch.com that might be of help to you.   I would check those out.

Pure Life Ministries is also an excellent resource and offers counseling for men stuck in porn and their wives.

We also have X3groups here at XXXchurch for the men but not for the wives (yet).   You need a good support system too:  Partners For Purity might just be that for you in this season!

Relationships

I had a period of time where my girlfriend and I were going through third-base, we never went beyond that because we were strict about no premarital sex. I have this guilt within me that I’ve somehow robbed something of her future spouse. I can never seem to get over it. What are the steps I can take for reconciliation?

You are not alone and the amazing thing is that you STOPPED and you are remorseful and desire to continue in that no more.

If you have confessed- the Lord is gracious to forgive.  If you feel like you need more encouragement and support then I would suggest seeking out counsel from your youth pastor or senior pastor or a trusted Godly role model person that you trust. 

Stay in the word and make sure you have healthy boundaries and accountability in place for your relationship!

Best wishes

accountabilty partner

My name is Mitch and ive been addicted to porn and masturbation for close to eight years. This last year I couldn’t take it anymore I needed to tell someone about my problems. I told a really good friend of mine which subscribed this website to me.I told him everything: my porn and masturbation problems, and i also had thoughts of suicide because it seemed like the only way out. But he has been there for me and has really helped me.over the past few day’s ive fallen into temptation many of times and I cant bring myself to tell my accountabilty partner any of it. How can I make it easy to tell him? And since masturbation is so personal it makes it even harder.

The whole point of accountability is to be honest- face to face with someone you trust who is someone you know cares about you.   Craig Gross wrote a book recently released called OPEN that goes into detail about accountability what it should look like and how to go about having that healthy functioning accountability relationship.

The bottom line— the Lord says that when we humble ourselves, He will lift us up.  He also says we are to confess our sins to one another.   Pray- seek humility and be honest with your accountability partner.  It is the only way.

Best wishes

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