Questions

My husband confessed a year ago that he had been addicted to porn and MBed for our entire 12-year marriage, and for many years before that. He joined an X3 group, and found other types of support and has now been clean for almost 11 months! His viewing porn and MB-ing has ceased, thank God! Here’s our problem, though. He is still suffering from erectile dysfunction. Through our therapy we have learned that ED can come from porn use. That’s why he has had ED our ENTIRE marriage. BUT, after being clean for almost a year, I feel his ED should be gone. I am no doctor and I know every case is different, but it’s so difficult to move forward with renewed intimacy in our marriage if we just ‘can’t’ have sex. How can we overcome this? Or, more specifically, how can I deal with this – if we are apparently ‘still’ waiting for his body to heal?

Hi
Thank You for everything so far. I’m still struggling with porn but i know i will overcome this now. I have a question

Having sex with Your wife is not The solution. I get that. But won’t it at least help a little? As i understood it, what You have sex with You bond with. So that should mean that it’s better than not to continue to have sex with Your wife in The recovery process.

Again i get that this is not The solution but a detail i’ve been thinking about

What Are Your thoughts?

Hey hey. So I got married in January. It’s awesome. I had been (and could make a case for “am still”) addicted to porn for over 10 years, and by the grace of God, my temptation was largely removed when I got engaged. I stopped having the urges every moment of the day. It was amazing. And I fight so hard to not take that for granted. So then we got married and we could have all the sex we wanted (we saved it for marriage). Sex is awesome, it truly is. But I want to learn. I want to find out how to do cool new stuff, make her feel better every time, all of the above. My first instinct is to turn to porn to learn the moves, to see how a couple interacts, to see how it all works. OBVIOUSLY porn isn’t real sex, that’s not how real people work, and I’m not looking to act like a porn star in bed. I am well aware that porn is far from being realistic. But because I learn so well visually, I feel like I need to watch a couple, real or not, have sex to learn how to better have sex with my wife. I really DON’T want to do this though. I don’t want to turn to porn or anything else because I want to stay 100% faithful to my wife. But I want to please her and I’m having a hard time learning how because neither of us know what we’re doing (we’re each other’s firsts). Also, I’m well well aware that it’s a work in progress. I don’t expect us to have mind-blowing sex right away, in fact, I don’t expect it for years. But I want to constantly be improving, I just don’t know where to start.