Questions


Frequently Asked Questions.

What do I do? How do I feel?

I’ve had a porn/masturbation problem since I was 13, thankfully I was able to stop when I was 18 (I am 19 now). After that I dove into the the Godly things and was even selected to serve at my church. Recently I had an urge to watch porn and I slipped and did both. Now I don’t know how to feel or don’t know what to do. I feel ashamed that I fell after 1 year of going strong and that I have responsibilities at church. Please help.

Proverbs 24:16 says that though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up!   So get up!  Get up and begin to walk out your victory one day at a time just like you did before.   If you did it then,  you can do it again!   Be encouraged.  One year is wonderful and one fall does not take away all that God has done in that year.  Keep pursuing peace, righteousness and the Lord and you will make it!

Accountability is a key ingredient so make sure you are confessing your sin to someone you trust and asking them to help hold you accountable.

How to be free from my guilt related to my past and how to control my current desires?

Hi everybody First of all I wanna thank you guys for the work you’re doing on this website. Here are my questions: I’m Christian since I was 17 (I’m 20 now). Although my life has changed, I’d still gotten this porn addiction since I was 10. It also escalated to a cybersex addiction. I got to a point where I used to send naked pics of myself to other women and even expose myself masturbating on webcam for random girls. I asked God for forgiveness after these activities but when the desires showed up, I fell again. In the beginning of this year I started dating a serious Christian girlfriend and we were in a very serious relationship. I thought that as I then had a girlfriend, I wouldn’t have the desires to have cybersex or look at porn so I tried to quit the addiction by my own. Although after a few months the desires came back. And then I entered in an erotic chat room again and exposed myself to a random girl on webcam. The guilt washed over me and I thought that I had crossed a line. I decided that that was enough and started seeking help to defeat the addiction. I also confessed to my girlfriend and asked for her forgiveness. However, my confession destroyed her and our relationship, so she left me, even though she still liked me,, but she said it was too heavy for her to handle. Was it wise to confess to her? Is there anything that I can do now to help her get over it. I’m fighting my addiction and I’m doing well, but I still can’t get over the guilt for crushing my girlfriend’s heart. Should I have done what I did (confess to her)? and what can I do now about her?

Hi Luis,

First of all– God bless you.   The Lord does not hold a record once you have asked for forgiveness, he is faithful to forgive– so by not forgiving yourself you are setting yourself up higher than God which will only lead to further troubles.  I would recommend grabbing some scriptures that speak against this lie and pray them outloud everytime you feel the arrows of guilt and shame being pelted at you!

With regards to the girlfriend.   Was it right to confess?   It is always right to confess our transgressions.  We cannot control how the other person will receive and there very well may be consequences but the Lord tells us that we will prosper when we confess our sins.

I know you are hurting and I know you are concerned for this girl but I would say at this time try to give that to God and just focus on Him and what He is saying to you right now.  He may have other plans… and you know… His plans are far greater than anything we plan for ourselves!

God bless.

Pictures turning into Desire for Action

My name is Torri and I am 20. Ever since I was 14 I have been addicted to porn. There have been times where I thought I was free but I keep coming back. Now I am just scared. All these pictures have lead to me searching for sexual encounters, trading pics with people, and just more things I thought I would never do. I thougt I could keep it controlled. I need help. But there are no counselors where I live I can talk to. All my accountability partners I have tried either don’t ever hold me accountable or say it’s not really a big deal because I’m a girl. It keeps getting worse and worse and I don’t know how to get better. Please help me.

Hi Torri,

Surely there must be a counselor in your area.  If truly not, over the phone Counseling is available through Pure Life Ministries and next month we will offer X3groups for women!   You are definitely not alone and I commend you for continuing to pursue freedom.  As you can see the progression of this addiction grows at an alarming speed.  It’s best to cut it off as quickly as you can.

God bless you.

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