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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Hi I’m Braeden and someone suggested this website, I have been Fighting an addiction with pornography for about a year now and I have felt convicted to tell my Mom, but for a 15 year old boy that is a really hard thing to do. I don’t have a Father in my life to tell so what should I do ?
Hi Braeden,
First, I commend you for wanting to go to your mom. I think you should definitely do it. Hopefully your mom can help hold you accountable by monitoring the internet- putting on a password protected filter etc. You may not want those things but you need them. Yes I understand it can be awkward to tell your mom. I was a single mom raising two boys and this came up in our household too but it never changed my view or love of or for my children. It only helped me to know how to help them.
If you want to go through our X3pure workshop ask your mom and have her contact me 626-628-3387 to say it is OK and I will give it to you for free.
God bless you.
I’ve recently started dating a girl I really like and am very physically attracted to. I quit porn a year ago, with a slip up 6 months ago. I quit masturbation around the same time, but have had a few more slip ups, usually going 4 months between slip ups. I have an accountability buddy and a solid porn blocker (my slip up was not on my computer, its bullet proof). I am having a lot of trouble with my thought life about my girlfriend. I am certain that she is the one. She knows all of my crap, and loves me anyway. In fact, she is incredibly attracted to my honesty, and we enjoy a very candid relationship. I know I have found quite a catch. So my thoughts go down a path from “I like her so much, one day I will ask her to marry me.. then we will get married .. and then SEX!! ” Or at least, that was the first time I ended up there. Now my thoughts often just jump straight there. Most recently it happened mid prayer. Which was very frustrating. I didn’t realize what had happened until I was knee deep in a fantasy. These fantasies are DEFINITELY fueled by images from my nearly 8 years of porn addiction, just with the faces changed to be ours. I know sex drive is natural, and that to be this attracted to her is a gift, but we have at least 2 years of dating to go before marriage is an option, and if that whole time is a constant battle. well. I feel very worn out already. I told her about what was happening. I didn’t go into detail, but I felt like I was mentally disrespecting her. She’s 100% on my side, helping me out. after telling her, things improved for a week, and then back to same old. I told my accountability brother. Its basically been a weekly message that says “Hey dude, still having problems with my thoughts. Prayer please!” My girlfriend and I aren’t kissing until engagement, due to my history and both of our large sex drive. No need to add more wood for that fire. Point is, I feel like im doing everything right. and still having this gigantic battle. My flesh verses the spirit in me. Reading through romans everyday has given me some good advice, but still not any change. “What a wretched man I am! who will save me from this body of death?” I know jesus will pull me through. I just wondered if you had any practical advice for thought life change. Im just sooo tired.
Thanks for your question. I want to tell you that you really seem to be approaching this from a healthy perspective.
First thing I want to say is this … don’t beat yourself up too bad. Attraction is natural. Wanting to have sex with your “future wife” is natural. And, sexual desire os natural.
That being said, lust is a problem that we all have to content with. Temptation is a part of life. And, in fact it’s not wrong. Jesus was tempted. It’s what we do with temptation that’s the issue. So, if your thoughts veer off into the “lust” area then you need to do for the most part what you’ve been doing. Confess, repent, get accountable. Then move on. Don’t dwell on this stuff and beat yourself up for past mistakes.
Also, be careful to distinguish temptation from lust. They aren’t the same thing. You will always be faced with temptation but you can work at not letting it lead you to lust though accountability, prayer, and open communication with those who support you.
Hope this helps.
Hello so in my past I have looked at porn and masturbated quite a bit. Recently I got accountable with some good friends of mine and I installed x3watch on my computer. I also confessed some of the sins in my past that I am most ashamed of to a friend of mine, and one sin in particular has haunted me and ever since I confessed that sin to my friend I have just felt intense shame and depression. That sin is I have listened to my parents having sex and gotten pleasure out of it. I confessed doing this to my friend and I confessed it to God and asked his forgiveness, but I just feel overwhelming shame and depression. So is this shame and guilt I feel a sign that I should also confess to my parents what I did?
Kyle,
I think you are being hard on yourself. You confessed it to the Lord, you confessed it to a friend. The word says that once you confess it God is quick to forgive it AND forget it. It’s gone.
The shame is from the evil one- not from God. Only you can decide if you need to tell your parents but I am not certain that is necessary.
God bless you.
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