Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

Pornography

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while now. Before her I have been struggling with porn. When we met I tried to stop but temptation takes over and I still struggle with it. She is a godly girl and I don’t want to lose her due to this. She does not know yet. My question is how do I tell her in a way she would understand and how do I stop this temptation for good?

I give you kudos for the desire to be honest with your girlfriend.  This is a two part question so lets start with the first part.

How do you tell her?   Prepare your heart before God.   If you are broken and contrite before the Lord, He will lift you up.  If you seek Him in this you will find Him in this and He will lead you to the words to share this with your girlfriend.   A lot of girls cannot handle this information (this is coming from a girl- so before anyone bashes me just know that).  A lot of girls make this more about them then realizing this has nothing to do with them and it has everything to do with you and God.  Most girls tend to make this harder for their boyfriends/ fiance’s and husbands because they cannot separate the two.  They tend to be controlling and want every detail and then become more paranoid and start wanting to know everything all them time and can become suspicious more times than not.   I was once one of those girls.    Just know this.  It is your responsibility to tell her since you are in a relationship BUT… you are not responsible for how she handles and chooses to respond or react to that information.   Also know this… you shouldn’t make her a dumping ground either.   I know a lot of guys that confess because of guilt or shame and their confessions make them feel better.   LOVE always seeks the highest good of the other person– keep that in mind.  🙂   It may also be very beneficial if you give her some reources to help her better understand what you’re dealing with.  There are many free resources on the main site including downloads.

Now- the second part of your question.   How do you stop this temptation for good?   Unfortunately temptation will be with you until you leave this earth– however dicipline, accountability and proactive boundaries will help you from engaging in those temptations.

I hope I have helped you some today.  God bless you.

MT

Lent

Would quitting pornography for lent be a good way to go?

Quitting porn is the way to go.  When you do that is entirely up to you.   I think more than putting a timeline on this perhaps focus on putting into place good boundaries, accountability and being consistently pro-active in those things as well as self control and discipline and you’ll have a really good start!  Be sure to check out the many resources offered to you in the students section of XXXchurch.com

Pornography

Hi, I have watched pornography and masturbate for the last five years. I am feeling very bad about this. It is what burns me everyday and I can’t take it anymore. I talked to my father who is Christian about my problem and he prayed for me after I confessed but it was two years ago. I have tried many times to stop but the temptation overcomes me. I want to be free from this, it darkens my days. What can I do ? PS: English is not my native language, I hope everything is clear.

We offer so many free resources including blogs and articles.  I would recommend that you spend some time reading through them and then put things into place.  It’s not what we know its what we do with it.

What about talking with your father again?  Let him know you are still really struggling and you need his help with accountability.

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