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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
I’ve been a very violent person my whole life. Porn helps calm me down and get my mind off of my life stresses. I’ve been viewing it since I was 7 or 8. It got so bad in my early years of highschool that I began viewing it 3 to 4 times or more a day. I watched it so much that it has became a way of life for me and I feel like a fiend and I’m ashamed. I have recently began dating a girl from my school. I’ve had other relationships in the past but no girl has ever made me feel like she makes me feel. We have had two sexual encounters together and afterwards she got emotional about it and so I never pressured her into doing anything because I refuse to hurt people I love. Today she told me she was upset because she made a promise with God to be abstinent. We have decided to take this step together. I told her of my porn addiction. My question- Without sex and porn, I fear I will become increasingly violent. What are some ways to keep my emotions controlled??
I commend your steps to deal with ALL of it- not just one aspect of it. My suggestion would be to get with a counselor and try to get to the root of your anger. It sounds like you have just covered over a deep wound somewhere and I think the right counselor can help guide you to the root and then begin to cut it off – allow the wound to heal and I bet you will see the other stuff begin to fall away and will no longer have a hold over you. God can set you free my friend. We see it every single day.
God bless you
I recently found out what is my biggest trigger to porn, it is studying. This is quite a big problem due to the fact that I need to study in order to get my degree to get the job that I want one day. What is your suggestions to this? I can’t just stop studying.
Define studying. Is it the research that you need to be doing on the computer? I’m not sure I understand your question enough to be able to respond to it. What makes studying OR what part of studying is a trigger for you?
I am interested in dating a man who has confessed to me his struggle with porn since an early age. We’re both Christians, but he often shuts God out of his heart I think because of the sexual abuse he went through as a child. I find myself wanting to help him know the love and acceptance that God has for him, but I know that only God can truly heal his heart. I too have been hurt by pornography-my brother started using it when he was 14 and I was 11, and essentially became a stranger to me and our family, spending all his time in his own addiction. God is redeeming that, and I’m asking for his grace in forgiving my brother and reconciling that relationship. My question is: what can I do as a woman to support these men in their fight against porn? What behaviors are hurtful or detrimental? What happens if these men that I love’s addictions are never healed?
I think it is great that you are willing to love and support both your brother and this man in spite of their struggle with addiction. Your brother is someone that you can support and love without residing under the same roof and essentially yoking up with everything he submits himself to, so that relationship may be a bit easier to establish.
Dating a man however that could potentially lead to a relationship that could then lead to marriage is another. While I think you can pray and support him from a distance– I would advise you to use caution in proceeding with a romantic relationship with him for two reasons.
If he is addicted to porn and not walking with God it will be a ROUGH road for you to walk with him. It is a hard enough road to walk even when walking with Christ if the addiction is still full blown but to deal with that without God? Nope- not something I would advise.
I think there are some really good ministries out there that deal specifically with what you may need. Check out Partners For Purity as well as the counseling offered at Pure Life Ministries.
The fact that you have a check in your spirit to the degree that you are reaching out tells me that you sense the warning also.
I hope that these men in your life will surrender their addictions and find freedom in Christ.
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