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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
I keep hearing at church of God “delivering” people instantly from addictions. I serve Him. I love Him. I have asked Him to help me but for some reason that “instant” thing hasn’t happened to me. I am still in my sexual addiction. Has God forgotten about me? Why do some people get that burden lifted but for others it’s a fight? I’m considering joining a 12 step program. Is God okay with process? Or will He be angry that I’m not trusting just Him and the Bible?
Oh dear one. Not one person is instantly delivered of everything. The bible tells us that until we die there will be a battle between our flesh and the Spirit both which we live with. This does not give license to continue in habitual sin but clearly some things take longer. We must be pro-active though in setting ourselves up for the win.
I think there are some wonderful 12 step recovery groups such as Celebrate Recovery. We also have a program that focuses specifically on this issue.
God has not forgotten you. He will surely help you. Keep in mind that you have to do whatever it takes to cut off that which besets you… so if it is the internet- you may need to get rid of it for awhile or at least put a filter on that you do not have the password to. There are so many steps to take that can set you up for a win!!
God bless you
I am a college student and I’ve struggled with pornography since I was 12. I thought that once I made it to college I’d have my “porn” time reduced dramatically since I’d be living with another person. The first few weeks I went without watching it, but then my roommate moved out. I am now living alone. I am hours away from the friends back home that would support me in this. I am tempted every night to fall… I don’t understand why God would let me be alone when He knows my heart. I feel extremely alone. I just don’t know how to find confidence in God’s plan. He knew she would move out, he knew where my heart would be when she moved out. So why is He setting me up to fail? Perhaps he isn’t but I feel like He is… What am I supposed to do? Honestly, I’m angry at my situation because I feel abandoned and alone. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t understand why this is a part of God’s plan for me. I’m just extremely discouraged right now.
Dear one,
The one sentence I really pulled from was when you said “Perhaps he isn’t but I feel like He is”
Your feelings do not determine the truth. That was a hard one for me to learn in life but when we are in the midst of a battle it is hard to push through the feelings sometimes.
I do know this. God has not set you up to fail. Everyone makes choices and decisions. You can make good choices in this season regardless of how you feel. I would suggest that you become involved in a celebrate recovery group. They are nation-wide. You can find one at www.CelebrateRecovery.com We also have X3groups running if you want to take a look at those.
You can press in and I promise you that if you do, the refining that you will go through in this season will become a catalyst to the next season of your life which can be one of the best that may not have ever happened had you not been pruned.
Email me your mailing address and I will send you a few things that I think will encourage you.
God is with you.
At times I feel like I’m the only women in the world who has a problem with pornography and masturbation. I know that it’s not true but its hard not feeling alone in this battle when I don’t know any other woman with this problem. I was sexually abused though out my life starting at the age of five and was exposed to porn at the age of seven. Growing up I was taught that masturbation was a normal and ok thing to do so that really only made things worse. I didn’t realize that I had a problem till about 3-4 years ago. I feel like the world/church looks at this as a man’s problem and not so much a woman’s. I know that its wrong and I don’t want to have this problem anymore. At times I’m good about having the self-control to sustain. I’m really hard on myself when ever I stumble because I really love God and want to live a life that honors Him. I mean how can I worship God and tell God that I love Him when I have this problem. I don’t understand why God still loves me when i stumble so much. Are that any 12-step programs for women with this problem? How do i go about finding someone in my church to talk to and help hold me accountable?
Thank you for sharing your heart and your battle. You are right the church is WAY behind in dealing with modern day sin issues (as if they didn’t exist in biblical times!! Have we ever read about the things going on in the Galatian CHURCH?) But you do know the truth- you said it, you are *not* alone. You also know the importance of accountability. I want to give you Craig’s new book OPEN that talks about accountability in detail and what it should look like and with whom. You will have to take the risk on someone you TRUST to help carry you through but it will be worth it!
Also consider X3groups as I do believe one is forming for women now. I admire your courage and strength to share your struggle here. Let me encourage you that not only are you not alone in the battle but you will not be alone in the VICTORY!
God is with you in everything! Hopes, dreams, success and failures!
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