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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
I am Brazilian and I can not speak English but am using online translation! Some time ago my boyfriend confessed that he watched porn online, knowing this I noticed many signs indicated that addiction to pornography online, I was very worried and sad. My boyfriend said he promised to stop but could not, I know he is sad when it happens, but you can not have a definite attitude to solve the problem. Advised to seek help from a leadership and in God, but I think he is not yet at the stage of taking his addiction, what should I do with it?
Hey Gabriella,
My name is Shellie R. Warren and I am the blog editor for the site. Being that you don’t speak English, I’m going to give you a brief answer but you can contact me at [email protected] if you have any other questions.
One thing about a a person’s stronghold with porn is that you cannot “make them” stop. He has to come to that conclusion all on his own and pressuring him or nagging him about it is not going to help. I encourage you to pray for your boyfriend, to set *very clear guidelines* between the two of you as it relates to intimacy/affection and that you “pump the brakes” on moving further into the relationship until he does come to a place of healing. Make sure to get yourself someone you can trust who can provide some wise counsel and prayer for you because you’re also going to need some support through this. If you want some book references (I’m not sure since you don’t read English, right?) be sure to let me know.
We’ll be praying for you,
SRW
Is the free site efficient or will I not get the information that I need if my son or husband are on sites that I am not aware of?
Hey June,
I’m not sure exactly what you’re asking but we do have a wealth of information on the site and if yes, there is a resource that we have for those who want to be accountability partners for people in their lives who may be struggling with porn. You can read more about it here:
We’ll be praying for you,
SRW
Will I ever be able to have a pure mind? I accidentally saw porn at a very young age and got hooked. I was seriously addicted for years, but through accountability partners, lots of prayer, and God’s grace I have come a long way. I still fail every once in a while and then I feel extra horrible because I have been doing well for so long! I struggle so much with not feeling forgiven and also with my mind. Even though my actions have been mostly pure lately, I just know that in a split second my mind can recall thousands of images and stories read and I don’t even need the internet. Will my mind ever be pure again? I feel like I have tainted myself forever. Please help, I desperately want to be a strong women of Christ, and I want to stop struggling with this! I want to be able to actually accept and believe in my heart (instead of just head knowledge) that God loves me and forgives me.
Hey Sammy,
My name is Shellie R. Warren and I am the women’s blog editor for the site.
What I found to be interesting about your question is that it almost sounded like you were asking if you would ever be *perfect* and the simple answer to that is “no”…AND THAT IS OK.
Something that I oftentimes share with people is that it’s my personal belief (due to my own journey) that deliverance is simply walking in foresight and taking I Corinthians 10:13 literally when it says that for every temptation, God provides a way of escape.
I have found so much peace in accepting the fact that Matthew 6:34(NKJV) states “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Sometimes we’re so worried about how we’re going to walk in purity for a month or a year or five years when God simply says, “Just take it a day at a time. And besides, if you were perfect, you would be me and you wouldn’t even need me. And trust me. YOU NEED ME.” (LOL)
Honestly, you sound more like you’re struggling with wanting to do everything “just right” more than you are currently struggling with your porn addiction. And please let yourself off of that hook. Daily prayer (Matthew 6:11), a trustworthy accountability partner (James 5:16), loading up our software (http://www.x3watch.com/), staying on top of your temptations (and the things that trigger them) and being *gentle with yourself* (Psalm 18:35) are all ways to stay strong in the journey.
Also, I penned a book entitled Pure Heart: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Integrity that also may offer you some insight. I feel led to send you one free of charge and so if you’ll reply to this with your address, I’ll get one out to you, OK?
Until then, thanks for reaching out and know that we are praying for you!
SRW
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