Dear faithful readers and those who might be reading for the first time.  Occasionally I will have guest bloggers in this forum for wives.  The article below was written by my dear friend Tessa.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

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Anger at God

by Tessa

In at risk teen ministry, nothing ever goes as planned. Bible
studies take 180’s and distractions are a constant factor. Often God
will give me a sentence that will shock my girls into complete
attention. Recently it’s been, “If you’re mad at God then yell at him.
He already knows you are anyways!” Jaws drop to the floor at the
seemingly irreverent statement coming from the Bible Study Lady.
Let me firmly say, we aren’t so different. In our minds it’s decided we
have no right, we’ve complained too many times, or somehow we deserve
it.

Being a wife of a recovering sex addict, it is vital I know the
permission God gives me to express where my heart truly stands without
a barrage of advice. Without ever facing my feelings of abandonment,
worthlessness, indignation, injustice, betrayal, and anger I obliterate
my own chances of survival in my marriage. These questions and
resentments will indeed block my own relationship with Christ if not
dealt with emotionally. It does not matter if I have all the right
answers if I am unwilling to face my pain and embitterment. This
opportunity to vent opens a doorway of communication in deeper intimacy
with our Abba. How can you grow in your relationship if you are not
allowed to ask the deep groanings of your heart?

What I find so encouraging in my journey is that God’s own Word is
filled with questioning people! (Few Examples: Psalms 42:10-11,
Lamentations 3:19-20, Habbukuk 1, etc.) God is not threatened by our
pain or blame. In fact He encourages the expression and condemns white
washed tombs. Can you fathom God loves you so much that He is willing
to face your accusations again and again in order to reconcile that
relationship? Beloved, you cannot be an ambassador/representative of
reconciliation unless you’ve been reconciled yourself! (2 Corinthians
5:18-20) If you are unable to call out to God in your despair, your
relationships is one sided. It will go no further by the impassible
wall. Open that door child of God; He stands at it knocking to be let
into the deepest wounds of your heart.

The freedom to question is just the start. The answers you receive
are often surprising. This freedom has deepened my roots and
strengthened my intimacy with Jesus. God calls us where we are and now
we have to be honest with where that truly is.

The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. ~Psalm 145:18

 

 

This original article can be found at Pure Community Ministries- www.purecommunity.org