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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

30 DAYS OF ADVICE TO HELP YOU STAY PORN FREE

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Couples Viewing Porn

by Brian and Darcy on June 4th, 2008 in Spouses

When my wife and I were approached to write a blog for the X3 site we were blown away.  Not by the fact that they asked but, how Christ has changed and blessed our relationship through the recovery of my addiction to pornography.  We are both very excited for this opportunity and look forward to seeing how he uses this opportunity to help others.

One thing we have both noticed as of lately is a lot of wives writing into more wife based magazines about pornography.  The questions range from “I was on our home computer and noticed a large amount of pornography on the history.  What do I do?”  “My husband just told me that he has been watching pornography at work.”  What should I say?”  “My man is spending more time at strip clubs now than he is with me. How should I handle this?”  The answer that has been given more so than not has been “You need to watch porn with him.  This will increase you sexual relationship with him and you will grow closer to one another.” 
   
When I came home the other day my wife brought to my attention yet another magazine telling women the same thing.

Talk to your spouse about pornography?

Q: My Husband looks at porn (I’ve seen it on his computer) But, he denies it when I ask him about it.  Any suggestions?

A: Your husband most likely feels embarrassed or ashamed.  I doubt his interest in porn is a reflection on you – maybe he does it because it’s different and exciting.  Why don’t you pick up an erotic movie and ask him to watch it with you?  Showing him that viewing porn together is OK, and a fun way to connect, may help him with his shyness.

While reading this I couldn’t help but, make comparisons to this.
 
1.)    “I was cleaning our home the other day and I happen to stumble across a bag with cocaine in my husbands dresser draw.  What should I do about this?”  “You should let     him know you found it and start doing coke together.  This will bring you two closer     together in your relationship.”

2.)    “My husband came home and told me he has been gambling at work and has lost     a lot of our money.  How do I handle this?”  ”You should tell him that you would like to play online poker with him at home.  By doing this you will be able to spend more time     together and grow even closer.”

3.)    “My husband tells me he is drinking a lot more at the local bar.  What should I do?”  “Well if you want to help him you should start going to the bars with him and drink     together.  This will bring you two together closer”   
   
I know not everyone agrees with these comparisons how ever my wife and I view these addictions or paths to addiction as the same.  You would never encourage your spouse to increase the activities listed above nor would you place yourself into these situations.   

Do not think that viewing porn together will stop his viewing of porn alone.  More than likely his consumption of porn alone will increase because he now thinks that it’s ok with you and that there is nothing to worry about.  This will only speed up his journey down “Porn Boulevard.”

Watching porn together will most likely not bring you two together closer in your sexual relationship.  After watching the porn and going to the bedroom for your sexual experience he is not thinking of you but, more so the porn star you just watched.  This will just pull you farther and farther away from each other in your sexual relationship; the relationship that God intended to be an awesome gift for you two to enjoy as a married couple.  Sex is good; enjoy it with each other not with each other and the porn star.

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