When my journey toward restoration first began I was obsessed with knowing other women’s stories. I wanted to know all the dirty details of their heartbreak because somehow it made me feel better. Maybe it made me feel normal knowing that I wasn’t the only woman in the world who was hurt by porn. Or maybe it was so I could compare my husband to their husband and say, “Well at least he wasn’t that bad.” Or worse, make me suspicious that there was more to his hidden sin that he hadn’t told me. I drove myself crazy. Not literally, but it felt like it some days.
So now I’m sitting here contemplating the power of my own story and what to tell. Should I tell all the dirty details and describe just how painful it was? Or should I focus on the hope that healing and restoration is possible? I’ve written a detailed story in the past, but today I want to focus on the story of redemption. How God took something painful and wretched, and redeemed and transformed it into something beautiful.
To spare you the dirty details (in case you are just as obsessed as I was), I’ll just say that my husband was addicted to pornography for the first 8 years of our marriage, and for another 8 years prior to that. My heart was broken and my marriage was ravaged by the effects of porn. But that is not where our story ends (Tweet This!). Our story had just begun.
We were two broken people that God chose to bring together through tremendous pain and lead us through the rubble towards redemption. And I praise God every day that He did. Yes, my story is full of tears and fear, lies and betrayal, insecurities and shame. But it’s also full of forgiveness and love, hope and restoration, joy and blessings better than I could have ever imagined.
Our story is an encouragement to those who are feeling hopeless. There is always hope (Tweet This!). It is an encouragement to those who a feeling like restoration is impossible. All things are possible with God. It is a picture of Jesus’ love for us who are broken and fallen and need GRACE. It is a powerful story because it is one that was written by the author of my faith.
Through a lot of prayer and crying out to God… and with the help of a support group, counseling, books, and other resources, my husband has found absolute freedom from his addiction to pornography and our marriage has been redeemed. I love our story and I proclaim it boldly because I know that somewhere there’s a broken heart waiting to hear that God is still in the business of restoring marriages. He is.
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