“These two will form a UNION in
marriage ….

Union: An act uniting two or more
things into one <union of a man and woman in marriage>

 “We are here today to JOIN this woman and man”……

Join: To become joined <place where two roads join>

“Today we will UNITE this man and woman in holy matrimony”…..

Unite: To put or come together to form a single unit

I have been to several weddings and have heard it said in
many ways how a man and woman start out as two people and become ONE.  Many have forgotten that once married you
became of one flesh with your wife and I was one of them.  My past sins with pornography have pried at
the seam of our union and made tears in it but, these tears are being repaired
over time.

The Cure for Porn is Marriage?

Over the last year or so I have heard so many guys tell me
that they thought when they got married that their infatuation with porn would
disappear for ever.  Man I even had the
same thoughts at one point in our engagement.  Getting married may prolong your sobriety to porn but, it will not
remove it.  A newlywed’s sexual
relationship with each other can be crazy but, thing can turn quickly.

How about when you have a fight with your wife over how the
towels should be folded, not doing the laundry or shrinking the laundry for
that matter.  (I’ve done these. Sorry
Darcy) For some their reaction is to freeze the other one out and that can lead
to no sex.  Your past habits then creep
into play and since you aren’t having sex with your wife, you turn back to porn
the one thing you thought left when you got married.  One thing leads to the next and your turn to
self-gratification.

For many the sexual drive becomes less when they have
children.  Your relationship takes a turn
towards a new kind of love and is not so dependent on the sexual encounters any
more.  Once again you may have been good
so far but, you’re not getting what you think you need.  Just one flip of the switch and your back on
the road down Porn Boulevard and self-gratification.  Isn’t crazy how
many of us turn to the selfish act of masturbation when we don’t get what we
want instead of waiting.  Marriage will
not replace your struggles with pornography it will only be a bandage until it
comes undone.

Getting married to Brian was the best thing that had
happened in my life.  Brian and I were
getting along so well in our new journey in life as husband and wife.  All the while Brian’s thirst for porn was
taking him down and affecting our marriage at all angles.  When we first got married we spent almost
every waking minute with each other what ever we were doing.  We decided to start a family and I am sure
most women would agree that when you are pregnant you do not feel sexy.  Porn started to consume him more and more as
I was too tired and just not interested.

Brian would watch porn through
out the day come home and want to have sex with me and he wouldn’t stop until I
gave in or we’d get in a fight.  After a
while I started feeling like a failure as a wife for shutting him out.  I started avoiding him at night and slipping
into my pajamas before he would come to bed so he wouldn’t touch me.  Most of the time though I would go to bed
before him and pretend that I was sleeping, or wait till he would go to bed and
fall asleep.  I felt like I was trapped
by this man who did not act like my husband anymore and was afraid of him.  After he had come forward and told me of his
addiction things slowly got better. I did not have to pretend to be asleep, or worry
about getting undressed with him in the room. I am now getting back the man
that I had married 11 years ago.  Marriage is for a man and a woman, not a man, wife, his porn stars, and
whatever else you’ll take into your marriage.  Please, if you are dealing with this and you’re on your way to getting
married deal with it now and rid yourself of it before it destroys a part of
your marriage or worse.

Hours and hours of viewing porn will over stimulate your
mind and eventually guys you’ll lose that feeling of passion with your
wife.  For me, as my wife explained was
more uncommon than most.  We see comments
from wives like “Why doesn’t he want me any more”?  “I am not attractive any more”?  “Doesn’t he love me any more”?  Now I know that these comments are not true
but, our actions or lack there of have provided a crossed message.  God has given us sex as an amazing gift to
share with our wives and porn can rob you of that gift.  You’re sitting at work or home and you start
looking for porn and by the time your done you have just exhausted yourself
sexually leaving your wife out of the picture.  Now if you’re a Christian and live by the word you’ll know that you are
committing adultery by having and affair with these porn stars in your heart.

Mathew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit
adultery.  But I tell you that anyone who
looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his
heart.

Guys, in regards to the wedding phrases above!  We stood there and said these words making a
commitment to love this woman with all of our heart and come together as
ONE.  Don’t let the fantasies of porn
come between you and your wife.  At one
time I was married not to my wife but, to porn. A marriage that nearly ruined
my real marriage the way God intended it to be.

Ladies, you as well stood their along side your man and made
this same commitment to God and everyone there.  If your husband is going through this he needs you to stand by him here
as well and fulfill the commitment you made that day “for better or
worse”.  This may be difficult for both
of you but, it is something that can be beat and your marriage can be restored.

If you’re struggling or know someone who is, please visit our resource
pages
for information to get help.  Make the first step admit it and confess it.