Pornography. There are so many emotions that can surface as a result of this one word. Anger, shame, regret, hurt and the list can go on and on. I also know what it is like to feel out of control as a result of the impact of pornography on my life.
To illustrate, let’s imagine that you are driving a car on the highway at 75 miles per hour. You see traffic backing up in front of you and so you start to apply your brakes to slow down. However, you quickly realize that your brakes aren’t working. Your heart rate escalates and your stomach twists in knots. You are out of control and the options don’t look great. Either you will veer off the road into the cornfield on your right or you will collide with the cars in front of you. In your mind, there is no escaping the damage that will soon occur.
That word picture describes how I felt when I was caught in my own struggle with pornography. It all started innocently for me with images online. It then escalated into a cycle that I felt helpless to stop. Just like the illustration of driving a car at 75 mph without brakes, I felt out of control. I knew it was wrong and yet could only see the potential damage that was ahead for me in my spiritual life and my marriage.
And the truth is we are out of control when we allow our flesh and sinful desires to take over. We may think we are in control because we are making our own decisions and calling the shots. But, in actuality, we will either be a slave to sin or a slave to God. There is no in between.
My turning point came when I was willing to surrender everything to Christ. It was not an easy path and took time to truly be free from pornography. However, there were resources available to me that I didn’t have when I tried to handle things on my own. I tried to stop in my own strength and couldn’t. But, when I surrendered to Christ, I finally acknowledged I couldn’t do it on my own and cried out to Him for help.
It is not a perfect illustration, but let’s go back to the “out of control” car scenario I shared above. Once I came to the end of myself and asked for help, it was as if I was in a car that is used for driver’s education. Christ was seated in the teacher’s position next to me and had access to a set of brakes I didn’t even know existed, therefore bringing the “out of control” car to a stop.
I’ll be honest…there were still consequences I had to face in my spiritual life and marriage. But, Christ has brought healing and freedom into my life again. Instead of feeling out of control, I am at peace again.
How about you? Have you surrendered completely to Jesus the circumstances in your life? Do you feel out of control like a car without brakes heading to disaster? If so, realize that you are not alone. No matter what your circumstances are today, Jesus is just a prayer away. It doesn’t mean that life will be perfect, but healing and freedom is available to you.
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11