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Rubble on the Road to Recovery

by Kristina Croft on February 23rd, 2014 in Spouses

recoveryThe road to recovery is built from the rubble of a broken marriage. God takes all the pieces and shards of your hearts, cements them together with sobriety and healing, and paves the road to recovery, leading to a restored marriage.

The road to recovery is rough, with many sharp turns. This road is not easily traveled.

But it is NOT a dead end.

The road to recovery will make you cry out in agony, laugh insanely, scream in despair, pray to God desperately, love deeply, and hope endlessly. It is a road with the most intense pain and yet unspeakable joy. The road covers the highest mountains and the lowest valleys. And it so worth taking the journey.

If your husband has been addicted to pornography, the freedom he has found in simply confessing his failures has no doubt caused him to feel great relief. To finally not be tormented by that secret is important, but it’s just the beginning. The road to recovery doesn’t end there.

Not only does he need to learn to have self-control, to withstand temptations and replace those unhealthy desires with Godly desires; not only does he have to learn to be truthful when he’s been living a lie and begin pursuing you instead of false intimacy… but YOU also have to take this road too!

You have to work through the pain of feeling inadequate and unwanted; you have to learn to forgive. You have to let go of being his babysitter and learn to trust God to change your husband’s heart. The two of you will also have to work together to bring intimacy back into your marriage, to pursue each other and find joy in your relationship once more. This isn’t HIS journey; this is YOUR journey together. When he falls, you need to be there to help him back up. When you fall apart, he needs to be there to help pick up the pieces. Marriage takes a team effort.

But there’s good news… this is a road you will not have to travel alone.  Jesus wants to help you manage the road to recovery; to bring healing to your broken hearts, to give your husband strength and courage to stay sober, and to restore your marriage. Jesus came not only to pardon our sins, but also to heal us (see Isaiah 53:4-5). We’re healed! Healed from our enmity with God. Healed from our selfish, corrupt hearts. And healed from the pain of this world.

This world is full of sorrow, including pain inflicted on us by those we love the most, but His grace is enough to take us from that broken place to a place of healing. So travel the broken road to recovery boldly. Embrace the pain and push through. Work hard, stick together, and look to the Lord for help. You won’t regret it; the journey alone is worth it.

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