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Swinging In Marriage

by Kristen Ring on December 29th, 2011 in Spouses

As I watch a video on YouTube from a couple talking about sex toys and swinging, my stomach is literally nauseous.  (In case you don’t know, swinging is when a married couple has sex with another couple or another person.) The couple in the video is promoting swinging and actually giving tips on how to be a successful swinging couple.  They say that swinging is about having fun; it’s simply just something couples do on the weekend for fun.  Really?  For fun?  My question is why jeopardize so much in a marriage in the name of fun and is it really all fun and games?  Let’s explore!

In marriage, two people love each other, correct?  So let’s talk about that for a moment.  Love is not a feeling, it is a choice.  When we love someone we choose to protect and provide for them; that is a part of love.  When someone chooses to invite others into the marriage bed, they are failing to protect their spouse and themselves from devastating consequences such as pregnancy, STDs, guilt, and depression.  They are doing anything but protecting.  Therefore, when choosing to be actively involved in swinging, one is choosing not to fully love their spouse.

Secondly, those advocating for swinging believe that it deepens their emotions with their spouse but they have no emotional ties to the other couple.  WRONG!!!!  God created humans to release hormones in our brain when we have any type of sexual experience.  One of the many hormones released during sex is oxytocin which is the “bonding” hormone.  When released in our brains, this hormone creates a feeling of caring, trust, and deep affection for the other person.  We therefore have a bond created with each and every person we have a sexual encounter with.  Additionally, when we continuously change partners, oxytocin levels decrease and the brain’s oxytocin release function doesn’t work as it’s supposed to.  Therefore, the result is less satisfying sex over time and more mental issues arise as mental health is affected (2011, Josh McDowell).

Lastly, and most importantly, sex was created to be enjoyed between one wife and one husband, with no other additional people involved! (Genesis 2:24 – Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.)  When sex is experienced the way God intends, not the way the world intends, there is a lifetime of discovery between the two.  When following God’s plan for sex, the two can have continuous sexual enjoyment and fulfillment within the bond of marriage.  God is a fun God and He did create sex for fun; however, fun for two married people, united together with no additional consequences.  What are your thoughts?  Do you think it’s okay to bring others into the marriage bed and if so, how do you see it affecting your life

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