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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

30 DAYS OF ADVICE TO HELP YOU STAY PORN FREE

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The Porn Healing Paradox

by Brian and Darcy on November 1st, 2010 in Spouses

We were looking around the web for some new viewpoints and/or ideas to post on the blog today. As we came across the words that you will see below all we could do was sit there and say how true. We know it is short and there isn’t a lot of meat to it but, it is a very good point to keep in the back of your head if you are going through a time of healing or feel like sharing this with someone who is.

– Brian & Darcy

“He Recognizes His Problem with Porn and Is Getting Better So Why Do I Feel Worse?”

He
Feels a new level of honesty and truthfulness
Has a new level of appreciation for the marriage bond
Finally has the accountability he was looking for
Loves her more than he ever has before

She
Feels the level of his disloyalty and deceit more intensely
Is saddened to realize how little the marriage has meant to him
Senses the shame and secrecy of being married to an addict
Has never felt less loved,valued or secure

Bottom Line: He wants congratulations for something that makes you want to throw up.

The emotions listed above are true and valid for both the man and woman yet are polar opposite. Why does this happen?

He has been holding these feelings for a long time and is very familiar with them. It is a welcome relief for him to disclose his secrets and come clean.   Sharing his burden with you means you now get to grieve over the loss of the relationship as
you knew it to be. You get to feel some level of the shame he felt. You also have a finely tuned sense of distrust towards all of his actions.  Welcome to the temporary insanity that healing from a porn addiction brings to a couple.

Be aware of the porn healing paradox as both of you move forward. Share this with him so he understands and appreciates your viewpoint as both of you work on becoming whole again. He needs to continue to earn your trust. And you need to
continue to work on healing yourself and becoming open to trust again.

This body of this blog comes from a website called “Porn Addict Hubby”

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