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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

30 DAYS OF ADVICE TO HELP YOU STAY PORN FREE

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5 Lifehacks for Porn Recovery

by C.J. Stunkard on February 18th, 2014 in Students

5 Lifehacks for porn recovery - blogEverywhere we turn, sex is in our faces–from the Internet to the television to our radio to wherever. Sex sells to a consumer culture.

But what about your place in it? If you’re reading this, then you’re probably trying to rally against pornography in your life; so what are you to do in the world that throws it at you?

Well, I can’t answer that, but I can recommend a few tools to so that the assault is a bit less constant and a bit more manageable. Think of these as “lifehacks” for porn recovery:

1) Give up television but keep your programs.
If you want to watch a TV program (assuming the program itself isn’t packed with sexual imagery), watch it on DVR, a streaming device with minimal ads, or DVD. It’s that simple. Advertisers want to get your attention and your money. Blatant sexual imagery is effective in doing so. Don’t let them tempt you.

2) Turn off pop and shock-talk radio.
How often do singers in pop music encourage you to “meet sexy people” or “do what you want with [her] body? The answer: non-stop. You may think you “only” listen to the beat or “just” find that talk show funny, but you’d be surprised how insidiously you are coaxed back into thinking that masturbation is normal, healthy, and harmless (since they suggest everybody is doing it, and no one seems to care). Want music? Support artists, buy songs, and plug in your iPod.

3) Tell the truth to people you trust.
Maybe it’s your best friend. Or your pastor. Or a parent. Regardless, find at least one (but preferably two or more) person(s) you trust and be real about your struggle. You don’t need to commit to anything beyond talking (though you should), and neither do they (though they might). The reality of taking your issue beyond you is a powerful piece of ongoing recovery. (Tweet This!)

4) Don’t “go on” the Internet; use it with a purpose and then shut it down.
Two things often led me to porn sites: boredom and the desire to return to the sites I found in my boredom. The Internet is like that: anything is a few clicks away. (Tweet This!) These days I don’t take the express lane to the information superhighway unless I am en route to somewhere specific, because surfing it for its own sake is swimming with sharks.

5) When it hits, drop it.
Some triggers will be unavoidable. You’ll be looking at a box of detergent, and the housewife pictured will have the slightest cleavage, or you’ll be at Wendy’s when some cute diner bends down to grab a fry. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, the trigger might hit you, firing on all cylinders. So, what do you do? Simple: accept it and drop it. Boom. Done. Acknowledge to yourself it happened, and then just keep living like it didn’t. How does this help? Two ways: first, it gets you noticing HOW OFTEN you are letting your eyes and mind drift; and when you start being intentional about this, you tire of your own perversion; second, doing this deflects a “latent trigger” three hours later when you’re bored at home, and you’re reminded of the diving neckline. You won’t want to remember it because you’re already over it.

I’m not saying you should give up television shows, or music, or the Internet, and I’m not demanding you meltdown if you catch yourself looking at something you shouldn’t. I’m just providing a few tools to help you avoid likely triggers and face them if you must.

Because you will face them; but now you have the lifehacks to get through them.

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  • IMFK

    #4 is elemental.

  • Last Man Standing

    I’m a 35 year old virgin fighting the battle of my life. I think #4 has kept me fairly clear of porn because I have decided not to have internet at home. Most people think I’m crazy in this day & age to not have internet, but I can pay all my bills, check email, whatever on my work computer.

  • Great advice! Thanks for sharing, CJ! I’ll be sharing your wisdom with the Future Marriage University (FMU) community at https://www.facebook.com/FMUniversity.

    And I’d love your thoughts about this post on guarding the eye gate: http://f-m-u.com/Blog/watch-watch-sex-part-5/.

  • Thomas Fong

    Wow, I think I can beat my problem with this. I am 19 years old, and I have never dated in my life. I started looking at the garbage around the 8th grade. But, I didn’t always continue going to it. It hit me very hard on the internet in the 11th grade. Non-stop, I was looking at porn at 6am every morning in the summer. I still have a little trouble with it, but I am going to push it aside and just continue going straight. I will not veer off the path to go toward the false meaning of sex. I can beat this. I just don’t know how or where to start. The one’s that got me the most were #4 and #5. And I would like a #6: watching out for sketchy scenes in movies that are new to you. My parents started letting my watch a couple of the Fast and Furious movies, I knew that there were sketchy scenes in it, I just didn’t know where. Mom always sent me out of the room when a scene came on. The other night, I was watching Fast 5 with my parents. They didn’t tell me when to turn my head. They fell asleep watching it. I turned my head right when the scenes came on. But I am still having trouble. Can you help?

    • lord1991

      You’ll still hear the sound of the “deed” and will still trigger you. What you feel is bodys work. Hormones, hormones. I have the same struggle. Try to think something else. Sex should not be something to fear but maybe being its master will help. What I mean is control it. Don’t let it control you.

      • Thomas Fong

        I try not to let it control me… but it just happens. There are days when I do really well and not look at the crap, and there are other days where I just give in and look. How would you deal with masturbation? Because I just can’t beat it. the most that I have gone without it is 2 weeks. Its on and off and its driving me nuts! I have only been doing it over a year now. I just can’t make it stop.

    • David Trainer Read

      Just fast forward. Treat that kind of sex as no big deal and ignore it as it’s not the real thing. Yes it’s serious but you can still stay pure…. unlike me. It’s a pain to climb up and to be healthy again….

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