Do this long enough and they create a dependence on the thing they’re hiding, until they ultimately lose of any number of things around it: time, energy, relationships, or more.
If addictions form in secret, then community becomes a natural and, arguably, essential component in fighting them, because when we reveal our addictions within a community setting, we threaten its stability and power over us.
Of course, that doesn’t mean we blast it on social media; revelation alone is not enough in itself. We have to reveal our painful dependence to others we trust, mainly because we desire their help.
In other words, we want a community.
We want a family where we can be accepted.
Community helps us by showing unconditional love, no matter where we are on our journey.
Since porn is secretive, when the revelation comes, it can wound. A community of people who care about the addict as a person will look beyond the sin and see that person’s need. The community will not only continue to accept the person but also assure them that they can partner in overcoming the sin.
This community can also offer support in the face of ongoing temptation. I know that, in my own journey, the very thought of sharing my sin has often helped me avoid committing it in the first place. And in moments where I had decided to give in, a text or phone call gave me welcome reminders of why I didn’t want to go down that road again. Did this always keep me from embracing sin? Not always.
But that’s where we find another great part of a family: encouraging the addict of their value as a person despite their failures. Now, this encouragement doesn’t have to be soft and uplifting; tough love can be a powerful motivator. But regardless of the approach, a strong community helps someone after they fall by cheering them on and reminding them that, no matter what, they are still accepted.
So what happens if you get involved in this kind of community?
Well, you may see the heartbreak your addiction causes and decide to leave the group because the reality of your actions is just too painful for you to bear. That’s certainly an option.
But more often than not, you’ll be able to see the real impact your choices have on your community and begin to pursue real change as an act of love! Not only for yourself but also love for those in your family.
We see this all the time in our X3groups, and it’s providing long-lasting results for many people.
Find a family and see what happens.