Though it can be pretty scary, feeling fear is a normal part of sexual addiction recovery. We cross relational lines. We go places on our computer and mobile phones we’re not supposed to go. We violate trust with our parents. We will naturally feel guilty… then shameful… then fearful.
But fear quickly turns destructive when we don’t air it out.
Fear paralyzes us, so we don’t bring it into the open. We don’t share it with anyone else. Afraid of the consequences that might result in airing out our fears, we stay in isolation.
Fear allows the devil to win. When our struggles stay hidden, darkness grows. So here are two small steps you can take TODAY to start conquering your fears.
SMALL STEP #1 – WRITE THEM OUT
Make a list of your own fears. What fears are keeping you from sharing your struggles with others? Write them down in a notebook. You don’t have to give them to anyone. Just get them down on paper. Be honest with yourself.
Here were the fears that kept me isolated and prevented me from sharing. Maybe they’ll give you courage:
1. My family would be devastated
2. What people would think of me
3. I might have to change
4. I might lose my job
5. I might lose my ministry
6. I might go to jail
7. I’m afraid of pain
8. I don’t want to lose my freedoms
9. What if my friends reject me?
10. What if it makes life worse?
11. It’s just better to lie
12. I won’t be accepted for who I am
13. My church will find out and shun me
14. People will know I’m a liar
15. People will think I’m a pervert
Start by being truthful with yourself, searching for the real reasons you continue your behaviors. God wants to help us with these fears, but first we must get them out on the table
SMALL STEP #2 – TALK TO GOD ABOUT YOUR LIST
Have the courage to involve God in these fears (whether you believe in Him or not, whether you are angry at Him or not). Begin a conversation with Him. Be brutally honest with God, even if you have to be angry… even if you have to cuss. God can take it.
I think you will be amazed at how these little steps open up a part of you that has been swimming in darkness. And eventually, you’ll learn the freedom that comes from no longer being afraid.