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How To Stop… Masturbating

by Russ C. on June 14th, 2011 in Students

how to stop masturbatingThis is a shot in the dark (or not), but if you’re a teen (or breathing), you have sexual struggles. You think the opposite sex is smoking hot, and you allow your mind to play games with that smoking hot image in your mind.

Pretty soon that little game gives way to a little touch here and there, and BAM; you’re off and running.

It’s a natural response. As visual and tactile learners and developers, this is naturally normal, but not an appropriate response.

So then, how can you stop MASTURBATING?

Below we have come up with a top 10 list (Letterman style) of fun ways to get your mind (and hands) off yourself and where it needs to be.

 

When you’re masturbating…

10. Start thinking about your grandma in a bikini. That’ll shut things down.

9. Take a cold shower. Not only will it calm you down, it’ll close your pores. Double bonus.

8. Bring a hair trimmer. I’s a known fact that flogging dolphins grows palm hair.

7. Know that in a few minutes you’ll go blind (it’s on wikipedia… so it’s got to be true!).

6. Leave a door open. Imagine what would happen if family member walked in. Gross.

5. Think about how much more fun it would be to play Scrabble instead. Or Monopoly. Oh; I’m the race-car!

4. Know that if you’re a believer, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Awkward!

3. Drop what you’re doing and call a close friend you can confide in. 

2. Stop and ask for God to renew your mind.

1. Remember that every time you touch yourself, Chuck Norris kills a kitten.


Reminder: This forum exists to foster healthy debate and discussion and not to further the agenda or opinion of any one person, so please: do not use this as your own personal soapbox.

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  • James

    I am 11 months free now, and have gone 18 months a few years ago, and I gave in and it started all over. I was wandering if the urge ever truly goes away?

  • Jacob

    This was well needed, and funny. Now any time I have the “urge” I’ll just think about Chuck Norris.

  • Amirali

    Hi dude
    I’m 17 years old and i haven’t any ‘sexual relationship’ with anyone so i’m alone now i don’t watch porn anymore but sometimes i’m horny a get lust for my nature then what should i do for that? I can’t have sex with anyone so i Masturbate?!!! I guess it’s not so what can i do for that??
    PLEASE HELP ME, IT’S VERY NECESSARY. THANKS

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