How Far is Too Far?

 

Love knows no bounds?

Those are quite some questions.

With the church culture that I grew up in, sex before marriage was viewed as the sin of sins. But really, we just addressed actual intercourse–not actually the different aspects of the actual question.

Also, we have the American culture telling us that “Love knows no bounds”–that true love has sex ; has no boundaries.

What two completely different messages! And how do we find the answers to these questions?

There have been times in my life that I have lived out this question. Pushing the limits, dancing around the issue, doing everything except the actual deed . . . “escaping sin”. Yeah, it’s all a mirage. How far is too far? But is this the wrong question to be asking?

One thing that I remind myself of constantly is this: “every man (or woman) could be someone else’s spouse” whether you are in a serious dating relationship, fantasizing about sex or even marriage with some random person . . . you still don’t know for sure if you’re going to actually marry the person you’re with ‘till the knot has been officially tied. And how would you feel if someone treated your future spouse like we treat our boyfriends or girlfriends? Basic rule of respect.

Although “How far is too far?” isn’t always a bad thing to ask. . . this just depends on how and when you ask. Boundaries are always good. I think it’s best for you to make boundaries for yourself before you’re in a relationship, and also to make boundaries with the person you are dating. Love knows no bounds? That’s not true. True love has respect for one another, your parents, including your future spouse.

Truth be known, once you go so far in a relationship it will affect your future relationships, as well. For example, if you start dating someone and you hold hands and kiss, then the next time you’re in another relationship (no matter who the person is) you will always be at a certain point physically where you won’t get the same jitters that you had the first time you held hands previously. You will always pick up from where you left off in your previous relationship. If you want to honestly pursue purity before marriage, this is important to keep in mind.

Although what you may be doing with your boyfriend/girlfriend right now may not be crossing boundaries, just remember that once you go somewhere, you can never get back to where you were. You can never get your first kiss or even your virginity back. So although as teenagers we have a tendency to live in the moment because we forget about our future, I want to challenge you to think ahead a bit.

How far is too far? I believe it’s different for every person, although boundaries should be set up with wisdom and with the future in mind.

Though I do want to give hope to those of you who have crossed boundaries that you wish you hadn’t crossed. Once love has been awakened it’s hard to keep it silenced, though with the help of Christ, perseverance, and a good set of boundaries. We can run this race again.