Porn Makes Me Want to Act out What I see
An imagination is one of the most incredible things we as human beings possess. There seems to be no limit to how far we can go and what we can do with this incredible tool. I remember in grade school my imagination had me exploring far away forests, battling some hideous beast never seen before and making some beautiful princess fall in love with me. It was almost effortless for me to close my eyes and then all of the sudden I was somewhere else, I was someone else. But as I grew older the direction my imagination went seemed to take a horrible turn. It seemed like out of nowhere my imagination went from thinking of castles, dragons and heroes and began to think about the opportunity to be alone with a girl and imagining scenes that would occur if I were ever give that opportunity.
When porn entered my life my ability to control my imagination suddenly went from bad to worse. Through my habit I began to feed the fire and imagination on the inside of me until I felt that it consumed me. Spending countless moments of my life allowing my eyes to view pornography only opened the door for my mind to take things farther. It began to alter the entire way I lived and interacted with people. My eyes began to spend more time looking at a girl’s chest and butt and less time looking her in the eyes, let alone the heart. Each time I looked it seemed like my mind took a picture of what it was seeing and saved it for later use. Every time I would see these girls though it was in a public place and I was unable to act on the desire this awakened in me a need to masturbate.
Late at night when I was all alone in my bed is when all of those mental pictures taken from looking at pornography all came flooding back to me. My mind would then go to work, putting pictures with thoughts and then placing people in them as well. Before I knew it, my mind had created this incredible scene that I had an overwhelming desire to see come to fruition. My flesh was never satisfied with simply creating the scene, it wanted to act on the scene!
I understand that this is all extremely disrespectful to all females and I absolutely hated that my mind would do this, but had no idea how to make it stop. The more porn I watched, the more scenes I created in my head and the more desire I had to act these things out. I needed some serious help.
God ordained the Bible to be our guide for every circumstance in life, so it’s no surprise that the Word of God is where I finally found help and answers. Everything we do in life starts with a thought. This means that every action of our lives was once in that very critical and vulnerable state of a thought. We choose whether we incubate and nurture those thoughts or we starve and kill them, so this battle really belongs to the mind. The Bible tells us to cast down and take captive thoughts that are contrary to the knowledge of God and His will for our lives. It also tells us to set our mind on things above this world and to guard our heart with all diligence. As God renews our mind with His Word, everything changes. We start to monitor where our eyes go, which in turn alters the thoughts coming to our brain. The less number of thoughts we have of sex scenes in our mind, the less our imagination will run with them. Everything is connected, but it all starts with our mind.
David desired that every thought and meditation of his heart and mind would be pleasing to God and we should be no different. God gave everything He had for us, so in turn I will give everything I have, my eyes, my mind and my thoughts to giving Him praise. You can’t do it alone, but where God has called you to live, there He will also grace you to live. The provision required comes through the knowledge of Him and who He is. Resolve to give God everything you are and experience Him on a whole new level.