You’ve heard it time and time again-“You can’t do this alone”. I can’t stress enough how true this is. Pornography and sexual addiction is a beast, it lurks and devours and attaches itself to its victims, sometimes for life. Recently, a friend pointed out that sin can sometimes have a “bounce off” effect, as if sin is constantly on its toes, waiting for an opening. When a friend is struggling with something and they open up to you about it, whether bragging or sincerely seeking advice or prayer, sin can use that opportunity to deflect from the subject and latch onto you, so my friend explained. That’s not to say that you should never have those important and vulnerable conversations, but it’s important to be vigilant of where YOU are struggling at the same time. I’ve witnessed this time and time again.
A few years back I was dating this girl. We were six months into our relationship and I hadn’t slipped up with porn even once. I was on such a good track, to the point where it hardly felt like a struggle anymore, it just felt like the need was gone. My girlfriend and I had what I considered to be the “Godliest” relationship I had ever experienced and that felt great!
But one day I was having coffee with a married friend and he confided in me that he had been struggling with porn over the past few months. Though, I know that getting married doesn’t mean your temptations go away, I was still surprised to hear that this particular friend was struggling. He had confessed to his wife and they were working through it in a healthy way. However, this opened a door for me. Even though I was six months sober, his confession made me feel like there was no hope, that I would always come back to it, even if I ended up marrying this girl. So, I gave in, because I felt justified.
He did exactly what the Bible says in James. He was vulnerable and confessed to his brother that he was struggling. I hope that he found some healing in that action but the flip side is that, through no fault of his own, I stumbled hardcore.
So yes, be vulnerable, have those conversations with your brothers and sisters, but be aware of who you’re speaking with. Maybe they are struggling with the same thing and maybe your confession will inspire theirs and healing can take place. Maybe this particular brother or sister isn’t the one to go with your struggles at this time. Maybe only a professional should be hearing your problems right now.
Sobriety for anything is a long and difficult road but those you choose to surround yourself with will play a huge part in your healing and recovery.
Healing and recovery, no matter what the vice, takes time.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16