“That was the last time I will ever look at porn..ever”
This is closely followed by
“If I just read my Bible more or pray more then I will stop looking at porn”
On paper there is nothing wrong with those statements. Until of course you look at porn again. Then they seem less like grandiose promises and more like blatant lies.
So if you read your Bible, pray to God, go to Church, and still look at porn the natural question is “ What am I doing wrong?”
Which is an interesting question to ask. Because it place us at the centre of our recovery. It places the onus on us to break the cycle. A cycle we are very obviously unable to break.
So what if we decided that in fact there is nothing that we can do to break free from porn. Then what? Is that it? Are we stuck?
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. (Romans 5v6)
The thing with trying to break free ourselves by going through the list of things we reckon will or should heal us is, well we can’t.
Once we get to the stage where we are just following a list of things we think will break us free, we have missed out on what Grace is all about. Once we do that we are bypassing God’s grace and going straight to the Law. We are falling into the trap where we believe that it is what we do and how often we do it and how holy we are, that sets us free.
The good news is that will never set you free.
It will never set you free because it’s taking God out of the equation. It’s throwing the freedom that he has already created for us through his death into the garbage.
The reality is that we don’t stop sinning by because of much we do the right things. We stop sinning once we let our hearts change through God’s Grace.
Sometimes we try and do so much to stop our porn habits ourselves that we drown out God’s voice. We drown out his truths. His truths that tell us we are already free. That we just need to let our hearts be changed and live in what is real. The reality that we are no longer slaves.
Imagine being a slave who is set free and then continually trying to earn your freedom. It’s pointless. It’s a waste of time and impossible. You are trying to achieve something that is already true. You have just forgotten.
And that is why listening to God’s word and prayer are so important. Not because of what you are doing but because you are listening to God. You are reminding yourself of what is true about you and God. That you are free from porn. Whilst you were powerless.
When you listen to someone you aren’t doing anything. The person talking is doing all the work. All you have to do is take it in. And choose to believe it or not.
Read your Bible and pray. Spend time taking part in those disciplines. But remember they won’t fix your sin problems. They will just remind you of what God is already saying.
Not what you are saying.
Or what you are doing.
But what He has done.