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3 Myths of the Good Church Kid

by Ben Beaghan on May 19th, 2015 in Students

The myth of the good church kid - blogYou might be the “good church kid.”

You never miss church, Bible study, or youth group. Any and every opportunity there is to do something with the church family, you are there. No one is suspicious of you. In fact, lots of people come to you for advice and counsel.

What they don’t know is that you struggle with sin, too.

But you are okay with people not knowing that about you. After all: if people knew you struggled, then they wouldn’t come to you for advice, right?

So you don’t tell anybody.
You keep it a secret.
And it rots to the depth of your soul.

You don’t want to be identified with all those other people who struggle with self-righteousness, gossip, porn, masturbation, or whatever “it” may be. The expectations of others has become like a jail cell in your life (Tweet This) and you have to be perfect to keep your identity as the “good church kid” who has it all together and has all the answers.

1. No Such Thing. Can I tell you something? There is no such thing as a “good church kid!” In fact, there is only one person on earth who was ever good, and his name is Jesus! (Check Mark 10:18 if you don’t believe me.)

2. Behavior Modification. The Bible says to confess our sins to one another (James 5:16). Here is why we don’t. Our reputation is worth more to us than Jesus. (Tweet This!) It becomes an idol. We worship our reputation instead of worshiping Christ. We put our identity in our reputation instead of putting our identity in Christ. Our reputation with the church crowd becomes more important to us than our relationship with the Lord.

3. New Identity. The Gospel has an incredible invitation. To let go of the sin that so easily entangles, and give them all to Christ. Let go of the need to please people and start being obedient (Galatians 1:10). First, confess your worship of reputation. Second, confess the other sins in your life you don’t want people to know. This will be hard, but will help you find spiritual health and freedom. Christ didn’t die for us to live under a false identity, he died to give us a new identity in him.

This is why we can confess our sin to each other. Our identity is no longer in what we have done, it is in what Christ has done!




  • Josh

    Thanks for this post. I have the reputation of the “good church kid!” ,and I have been horribly afraid of accountability because of that.

    • Ben Beaghan

      Thanks for your comment Josh! I want to encourage you to seek out accountability. Jesus came to save sinners, and we all sin. We all need accountability. In my life I sought out two kinds of people for accountability. I sought after an older godly man who was married and could encourage me from his perspective, and I sought out a godly peer (a man) who was the same age and life stage. I hope and pray you will find some godly men in your life who you can be real and honest with. This has been a huge blessing in my life, and I hope it will be in yours.

  • Max

    I have been dealing with a lot lately and I turned to porn instead of god. I have read this and I am glad god put this in front of me it have opened my eyes.

    Thank you!

    • Ben Beaghan

      Thanks for the comment Max. Turn your eyes to Jesus. The Gospel lets us run to Christ in all of our hard circumstances. Jesus is who brings hope, comfort, and true satisfaction. Keep pursuing Him.

  • jamie

    thank you for this article, i have done every thing mentioned here
    and the guilt grows more and more each day . i feel like a hypocrite .because of what i have done and it truly is a battle trying to be what everyone expects me to be .
    so thank you ūüôā

    • Laura

      You’re not alone, we’re with you! I’m fighting the fight myself, and it’s hard! But just remember: you can’t do it all by yourself! God’s already on your side, and with the help of a few friends, i know you can do it! Love you!

  • Mewnster

    Thanks for such a reading! I find myself cowering away and doing this at times. Scratch that, all the time! An instructive word like this really helps. I love this site.

  • sam

    Why I am feeling you are writing bout me? Its almost my story. And i am so much worshiping my reputation, but i dont know how to get out of it. I means for me lot i spent years building it up in school church,everyehere. Even now i know i amonly in half of the build up. But even though i know,that i should tell somebody about it i am that ashamed of it hat i would never ever done it.

    • James

      You’re not alone Sam. I worshipped my reputation too, at some points if I’m honest I still do but not in the same way I used to. If we offer everything to Jesus things will change. I first told a good friend about years of struggle because he opened up about struggling with porn to me. It was a huge release. I was then able to encourage him because I’d broken out of the hold that porn had. I know you didn’t ask for it but I can pray for you and if you can get yourself into an accountability group go for it. ‘Last Man Standing’ is a great one on facebook, I can give you a link if you’d like? Also, I took the plunge and asked my dad to be my accountability partner with the tripple x church free software and it really did help. Ephesians 3:20. God Bless

  • el sol de Mayo

    I think it should be founded other language versions of this site (I’m POL), it’s always too less sites like this.

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