Telling some of us to refrain from masturbating is like telling some of ourselves to stop breathing. Sure maybe for a couple of minutes you can survive but then you need to breath. It’s like an impulse that you can’t see a way out of and there is no other option but to have some happy time with yourself. If you’ve in any way found yourself looking at porn a lot you will know that over time you get used to the feeling of acting out constantly. The release you feel when you masturbate though is only short lived. It will be enough to maybe do you two or three days at the most but then the feelings return. The “build up” needs to be released and you know only one way how.
So how do you stop yourself?
Can you stop yourself?
First things first, if you haven’t got yourself someone who you can go to with a text or a call when you are tempted, stop reading and find them. Find that person who you know will have your back and pray for you or encourage you. Who will know when you are tempted most and will love you enough to listen to you in those moments…
Right, glad to have you back. Congratulations you have just completed the most important part in resisting the urge to masturbate.
But now you need to follow up and be honest with your new accountability partner. There will always be the temptation to not ask for help when you need to; to look like you have it all together.
But it’s ok to not have it all together and it’s ok to ask for help. They are there to help you and to show you a better decision can be made in those moments.
It’s also great to have scripture implanted onto your heart and in your mind. If Jesus needed to do this then of course we do too. It can remind you of who you are in Him and it can encourage you with reminders of your purpose and standing with Jesus. You are loved and you don’t need to make yourself feel good to know it.
Distract yourself with whatever you need to do. Go out for a walk and pray, do something that will actually be a good use of your time like grab a coffee with a mate. Go for a run, go to the cinema. Do anything and everything that will distract you and help you flee the scene. Think about where your hands have been that day and where they are about to go.
But maybe the question should not just be how do I stop in this moment, but how do I live in the awareness that I am loved unconditionally every moment of every day. Awake or asleep.
Because there is no better way to stop masturbating long term, to stop looking at porn than to be aware of whom you are in Jesus.
When lust takes over it’s more than just about sex. It’s about our deep hurts and pains that tell us we don’t deserve to be happy or we don’t deserve to be loved. It’s about taking the time to surround ourselves with communities that will support us, to take part in activities that give us deep joy. It’s remembering we are created for more than simply getting through life and resisting the urge to pull your pants down in front of a computer screen.
When we get to this place, not masturbating isn’t really the issue anymore. We start to begin to see that masturbation is just the outpouring of a life that is dissatisfied. We don’t feel loved so we look to the comfort that masturbation brings.
And then, we start to be aware of who we really are..
That we are created for a great life.
That we are special.
That we are loved.
Not because we haven’t looked at porn or masturbated in so long, but because there is Grace and Peace readily available to us regardless. Maybe we just need to look up from your computer screen to see it. But when we do there is a life ready for us to join.
Sometimes freedom is a gift you just need to choose to take.
But the best way to stop masturbating is to use both in unison. The short term measures end up helping you in the long term. And looking at the bigger picture and seeing who you are in Christ will gradually help you in those moments of weakness.
So get accountable. Text and call your buddy when you are tempted. Don’t go to those places and times where you are most vulnerable. Be honest. Make sure you surround yourself with people who tell you the truth and make you feel loved. Take part in life.
Then and only then will you be able to be in a place of freedom from masturbation.
Which is actually…much better than happy time.