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Confessions: An Open Letter to the Women of the Adult Industry

by X3 on September 7th, 2013 in The Haps

To all women who have participated in the porn or adult entertainment industry:

My name is Jim, and I am a recovering sex addict.

I am writing to you to apologize for any harm I may have caused you as a result of my participation in various adult entertainment businesses. Although it’s been seven months since I’ve looked at porn, I spent 30+ years viewing porn, calling 900 numbers, and attending strip clubs, among other things.

In my mind, I had the false belief I was engaging in behavior between two consenting adults.

I thought there was no victim. I was wrong.

While we may have been “consenting,” I now see the flaws in my thinking. My motives were completely selfish and I’m ashamed to admit that I never once stopped to consider the effects my actions may have had on the women I was viewing or speaking with. To the women in the adult entertainment industry, I am very sorry for my selfish and destructive behavior. I am very sorry that:

I never stopped to consider you were a victim of my selfishness.

I never stopped to consider how your involvement in this industry may be affecting you.

I never stopped to consider that maybe you didn’t want to do the things you were doing.

I never stopped to consider that you may have been hurting.

I never stopped to consider that you have feelings.

I never stopped to consider that you might be trying to “get out”.

I never stopped to consider that you may be dying inside.

I never stopped to consider that guys like me keep your industry thriving.

I never stopped to consider that I was keeping you from a relationship with Christ.

I never stopped to consider your value as a human being: Your heart, your mind, your soul, your spirit, your dreams, your ability to love and be loved, your struggle, your pain, your history, your humanity.

I am deeply sorry for all of this.

If you are in pain, I am deeply sorry for the ways guys like me have treated you. While I certainly do not know how you feel, I hope this letter might bring you an increased sense of self-worth and the hope for a better tomorrow.

I can’t take away my past actions, but I can promise you I will continue to work hard every day never to be “that guy” again. I wish I could promise you I will never hurt you again, but I can’t. I can only promise that every time I am tempted, I will see the consequences of my actions and hope and pray this will be enough to help me make healthier decisions.

I hope you know that you are valued, worthy, and significant.

You matter.

If you’re looking for a change, I hope you find a way out. I hope you find a way to fulfill your destiny of being the mother, daughter, friend, partner, or sister God wants you to be.

Lastly, I want you to know that I work as a sponsor with other sex addicts and will continue to find ways not only to lead a better life myself, but also to help others who struggle with this affliction. I know I can’t rid the world of porn viewers, but I can try to ease the pain, one consumer at a time.

God bless,
Jim Mc

[Editor’s note: healing often comes when we confess our failures and come clean about our mistakes. Jim wrote this as a means of bringing about his own healing; if you would like to make a confession of your own, we invite you to come clean and submit your own confession.]

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