Dear Montana,
We have never met but my name is Craig Gross. Over the last 8 years I have met a number of people who consume porn, make porn and star in porn. I wanted to first let you know that you are beautiful and that Jesus loves you regardless of what you do for work.
I heard that you are considering getting into porn. The fact that porn is a multi-billion dollar a year industry speaks volumes. Seeing stars like Paris, Kim, Kendra and Pamela do this makes this look like this is an great opportunity to boost your career.
I don’t know what you will end up doing but would love it if you would reconsider. I met a girl named Kristina a few years back after doing a few porns she said to me ” i know God is mad at me but I will get back to him later…after I make a lot of money”. I told her and will tell you that God is not mad at you if you decide to do porn, I just believe he has something better for you.
You choose to make a video and this will be something you can never get rid of. The images, screen shots, video clips will never disappear. Your kids and grandkids will all search away on google and see you fully exposed one day. This is the story of a woman we helped transition out of porn a few years ago named Wendy. Wendy thought she was happy and in control until her 10 year old son came home hysterically crying in the middle of the night from a slumber party because unbeknownst to him some of his buddies had found his mother’s porn videos on the internet and couldn’t wait to show him and everyone else at the party. Wendy left the industry after that but her kids have had an extremely hard time trying to move on. This decision doesn’t just affect you. It will affect all the people around you as well as all those that look up to you.
I don’t know the guy that is involved but I am sure there is someone that has told you this is a great thing and will be good for your career. I disagree that it is good for anyone’s career but beyond your career this is not a good move for you and your life.
I debate Ron Jeremy on college campuses all the time. He always hates responding to the question “What would you do if you had a daughter and she got into porn?” It takes him about 15 minutes to answer that question. He does not really know how to answer it. He can’t say he would not allow it but what he does say is “it would not be my first choice for her”. I don’t know your dad but there has been a huge amount of interest in this story because of his notoriety. Like Ron, I am sure this is not his first choice for you.
I met with a girl on Sunday who has done 300 plus videos over the last 10 years. She has made a lot of money. She granted media interviews over the years where she spoke so eloquently and educated- she was (to a point) convincing that she was proud of her “adult entertainment” decision and that it had not affected her negatively, that she was in control, the money enabled her to do the things she wanted to do and she was content. Here we are 9 years after that first interview and she is broken and facing a life trying to not be noticed, trying to deal with the fact that her own family doesn’t want her around their children, trying to deal with the fact that unlike most people she can’t just start over somewhere else with a clean slate where her past won’t follow her to whatever town she tries to settle down in because she IS recognizable. She is empty. Most of the women that leave the industry doubt that any man would even want to settle down and start a family with a woman that most men can watch having sex by doing an internet search. We know women who were very well known in the industry walk away because it is an empty and dead-end street. Of all the men and women we’ve met who have left the industry whether they were well known names with “connections” or not were never successful in removing content from the internet once it was out there. We even know a woman who left the industry in 2006 that has a website still operating in her name that not one lawyer has been successful in the last 4 years to remove because essentially- she sold all rights to the content and use of her name…. FOREVER. There is no time limit in porn.
I believe you are better than that. I believe God has plans for your life that far surpass anything porn can offer and I had to at least try to convey these things to you. Whether you decide to do this or not is up to you, I just hope that I’ve given you some things to really think about that would at least cause you to reconsider.
Whatever you choose, we are here for you at XXXchurch if you ever need anything.
God Bless,
Craig Gross