We are at work on the new site. You guys are going to freak out.
Every page on the site has been updated. Lots of new stuff. Okay, here
is one thing. There will be 4 blogs on the new site.
1. X3 Haps – All the latest from X3, like what you are reading now.
2. Confessions – Cool video stuff from inside the Porn Mobiles and your confessions and stories
3. The Industry – Donny Pauling is going to be heading up this blog giving you honest talk about the world of XXX
4. Butterflies- Well, Here is the first blog on that post. Hold on tight. Check for the site soon…real soon.
Butterflies Blog – By Shellie. R. Warren
I thought long and hard about writing for this site last
year. It’s not that I don’t believe in what they are doing. It’s
not that they are any more “out there” than I am (I authored a book
on the lessons I learned about promiscuity in 2004). It’s not that I
myself cannot understand the demonic stronghold that comes with
pornography. It’s just that when you actually volunteer to put yourself
on the frontlines of battle—and sexual misuse of any kind is a war of the
flesh and will—-there are parts of you that will ask “Are you
sure? To want to engage in spiritual combat is a little strange, don’t
you think?”
I do “think” that. However, what I
“know” supercedes it.
Last November, I asked several men in my life to commit to
praying for me one day a week in 2007. I wasn’t sure what was going on at
the time. I just knew that because I am still a single woman, I must make
sure that I am “covered”. A few months later, in my prayer
time, God told me to contact the XXX Church fellas to see how I could
help. It was just way too easy how everything worked out and so I knew it
was God (How do I know? Because where God is, peace is).
So, here I am. Who am I?
I am a woman who is a survivor of basically all things
sexual. I have been sexually molested. I have been the victim of a
date rape. I have aborted four children. I have been sexually
involved with people’s boyfriends (and at one time, even someone’s
fiance). I have been addicted to masturbation and at a couple of points
in my life, even pornography. Yes, I do believe that I am an
overcomer, but I have a different definition than most. Whenever people
ask me “How do you know you are delivered?”, I tell them that
deliverance to me is no more than operating in spiritual awareness and foresight. Refusing
phone calls at 1AM from a guy I used to sleep with is operating in
foresight. Not watching Cinemax at 11PM (it seems like “those
shows” are getting on earlier and earlier) is operating in
foresight. Avoiding spending time with the object of my affection while
I’m ovulating (’cause ladies, that’s when we tend to be the most
“amorous” and God made us that way) is operating in foresight.
Being honest with myself and my God about my struggle(s) is operating in
foresight.
I am a woman just like many of you who will read my blogs
from time to time. I don’t believe that this walk of sexual purity is
easy (whoever told you that is a liar), but I am proof that it is
possible. When Craig asked me what I wanted to call the blog, I knew I
wanted the word “butterfly” in it. Several years ago, I worked
a job that I pretty much hated, but one thing I did gain from it was the
knowledge that the symbol for those who have survived sexual abuse (AB-normal
USE) is that of a butterfly. To this day, I collect them.
If you are reading this, you may not be as “free as the
butterflies” yet, but you are coming out of your cocoon; believe
that. I’m not here to force you. One of my favorite nature tales is
that of the Emporer Butterfly. Although it’s considered to be the most
beautiful, because no one is really sure when it will emerge, people often try
and force it out. When they do, it flies for a moment, but then falls to
its death very shortly. I believe that I am just one of the agents that
God will use to protect you and nurture (through words) as you try and break
free from the sexual addiction that binds you.
With that said, here’s to a divine connection,
Shellie