So…

In the midst of my web surfing this morning, I checked out an article entitled, “There Are Sex Toys, and Then There Are Christian Sex Toys“. The title is pretty self-explanatory when it comes to the content, but there are a few excerpts here that I wanted to share:

If you type “Christian porn” into Google, you get about 75 million results. Most of these are anti-porn platforms — surprise, surprise — but a large swath of content is actually part of a christian sex movement: christian erotica sites, pole-dancing-for-Jesus classes and Christian sex toy shops.

Christian sex toys are not shaped like pieces from a nativity scene (unfortunately), but they’re “Christian” because the sites  that sell them never feature nudity, and they explicitly condemn homosexuality and premarital sex. Plus, the companies ship your toys in plain white boxes, just the way God intended.

Capitalizing on Jesus is nothing new; there is “ultimate Christian pro-wrestling”, Christian diet plans and this line of slutty-lite “Church Gurl” tank tops. But Christians hocking vibrators for Jesus have a specific sex philosophy that goes along with the toys, and it’s a warped version of sex positivity. The religious right may be a slut-shaming, anti-birth-control, homophobic bunch, but there are a number of Christians who are doing sex for the Lord. Who, of course, is always watching…

I reached out to a number of Christian sex toy shops, but all were reluctant to talk a reporter for a site named “Jezebel” — except one. “Nate” informed me that he would no longer be selling vibrators for Jesus — as he just sold his popular online shop. But he would talk to me as a former Christian sex shop owner…and also a former Christian. “Reading the bible is one of the fastest ways to become an atheist,” laughs Nate, who used to be an associate pastor but hasn’t worked in full-time vocational ministry since 2002. “It was much easier when I was younger to explain the problems in the old testament but as I got older I couldn’t shake it.” For half of the time he owned the Christian sex shop, Nate ran it as a covert atheist…

Nate found hawking dildos for Christ a little distasteful, but mostly it felt like he was doing something good. “Most Christians are looking for something to relieve cognitive dissonance — they want to do something but feel guilty, so having a Christian version makes it okay.” Nate’s thinking is that the more you can lessen people’s guilt around sex and help them relax, the better, though he does worry about perpetuating a cycle of shame. “Religions take advantage of sexuality because sex affects everyone, unless you happen to be asexual. The overwhelming majority of people masturbate or have sex outside marriage, yet religion says if you do these things you need to come to church for forgiveness. There is a tremendous amount of guilt that keeps people coming back to the church.”

So if Nate is right and Christians are simply justifying the things they are already doing, where is the line? Pastor Young tells me that it is up to each married couple to decide if things like toys or lingerie are acceptable, but if there can be a Christian butt-plug, why can’t there be Christian porn? For those millions of search results “christian porn” turns up, the genre has yet to formally exist. But will it in the future?…

But if 70% of men watch porn — a number that has been tossed around — and as much as 76% of the U.S. population considers itself Christian (according to this report), then surely there’s some overlap? Somewhere there are Christians watching porn. And according to Nate they also are fond of anal-play; the most popular toys on his site were prostate stimulators and the “double diver” a cock-ring with a small dildo attached for double-penetration. “Most Christians are doing the same things that everyone else is doing — they just feel guilty about it,” says Nate. Though the double-diver sales did slightly surprise him and led him to a thought: “I could probably sell porn on the site, and people would still buy from us. I thought about doing it as an experiment, maybe include really gay-positive copy along with the porn, still under the Christian name,” he says. “I am curious just how far the envelope can be pushed.”

I know, right? Basically the entire article. Yet, in midst of the satirical tone and some phrasings that still irritate me (just because there are people that don’t support sexual sin, that doesn’t mean that they are *scared* of it) and honestly, I didn’t even know there were “Jesus vibrators” (for real?!?) and I’m not the most conservative chick out here. Oh, and the people not willing to talk to a website named “Jezebel” was just hilarious to me. So…you sell porn but a website named after a biblical character is the unpardonable sin? Yeah. Whatever.

Yet, in reading the interview with Nate, I did want to give him a big ole hug. John 1:1 tells us that the Word is God (something that a lot of us “coveniently” forget) and so something tells me that it’s the modern-day Pharisees that he takes issue with and not the Bible itself. I also found it fascinating that he believes that it’s *guilt* that draws people to church more than anything else (which is not something that we should shrug off quite so quickly, actually).

And yes, the author of the piece does bring up yet another valid point. If there are “Christian” sex toys, etc., what does separate “porn” from the pile? A sex toy is not recommended for singles, but it’s OK for married folks? Why is that? (Like, literally why is that?) Single people shouldn’t masturbate, but I know *a lot of wives* that do it. *Why is that cool?* And yes, why are so many people “comfortable” with doing just about anything out here so long as “Christian” is put in front of it. Let me tell ya: Believing that just because “Christian” is used in the marketing of something is just as ridiculous is as assuming that everything *in the grocery store* is “organic”.

Anyway, I would *love* to hear you all’s thought on the piece; one that I think the author did a pretty good job of when it comes to making us pause and think, “Yeah…*what’s really going on?*”

I’ll join in on the comments later. For now…you know the drill.

Sound off…