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Don’t Look at the Parts. Look at the Whole.

by Shellie R. Warren on July 27th, 2014 in Women

don't-look-at-the-parts-look-at-the-whole-squareBeing that I’m a writer who works from home, I tend to catch a lot of television—and then I go online to research things about it. After taking a writing break recently and watching a rerun of one of my all-time favorite shows (and yes, this is about to reveal my age-LOL) Family Ties, the one when Alex P. Keaton gave his virginity to a college girl who kicked him to the curb the very next day. Even I had to process that it was a (wow!) 1982 episode. I had to take in just how much has changed.

I say that because later that day I tried to watch some of the series premiere of VH-1’s Dating Naked. Not because I was interested in the show per se, but because I deal with a lot of young people who watch what their parents tend to be totally oblivious about (watch TV with your kids, y’all!).

Corny. Shallow. Naked. Those are the three words that come to mind. Yep, I won’t mind missing any of the other episodes to come, that’s for sure. However, my point in even bringing it up is due to the stark contrast of television between 1982 and 2014.

In 1982, with an episode that was actually about sex, Alex didn’t even have a sex scene. We saw a kiss on the couch. That’s it. The rest was either loosely implied or discussed between him and his father. Cut away to 2014 and people are seeing one another, for the first time, with no clothes on. Not only that, but they’re not even batting an eye about it. That lets us know that they are beyond used to nudity. Something that really is supposed to be seen as rare and precious and special between two (and preferably only two, in marriage) people.

Interestingly, there are so many people who think that things are getting better with “the times” but when it comes to sexuality, the verse that immediately comes to my mind is “For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:3-NKJV) Freedom is not about exploitation. It’s about choosing to live in a loving and responsible way. And when you think of what our young people are up against—shoot, what we all are up against—we really have to make sure that we’re teaching the truth of what it means to be “naked and not ashamed” (Genesis 2:24-25). That’s it’s not about walking on some beach and letting it all hang out (um, literally) to some random strangers who you probably won’t even see again following the taping of the show. It’s actually about sharing the best of who you are with someone who vows to care—until death.

So, what does this have to do with the title of today’s post?

Well, something else that I found to be (eh hem) interesting (kinda) about Dating Naked was that the guys had no problem compartmentalizing the women. Especially physically. That actually made me think of some conversations that I’ve had with men, in general. How seeing a woman is not oftentimes about her totality but her eyes and lips and bra size and hips and…and…and then maybe her personality (LOL). And a part of me can’t help but to wonder if that’s a part of the reason why “sex sells” but intimacy is treated so cheaply. Especially after I read an article that was published a few years ago entitled “Brain Sees Men as Whole and Women in Parts”:

The results showed a clear schism between the images of men and women. When viewing female images, participants were better at recognizing individual parts than they were matching whole-body photographs to the originals. The opposite was true for male images: People were better at recognizing a guy as a whole than they were his individual parts.

People were also better at discerning women’s individual body parts than they were at men’s individual body parts, further confirming the local processing, or objectification, that was happening.”

OK, there’s not nearly enough time and space to get into all of this right now but my point in bringing it up at all is simply this: One definition of entertainment is “distraction” and with a lot of the programming that is on the tube (and computer monitors), we have to be careful not to train our brains to do what some studies reveal it does naturally. All people deserve to be seen as whole beings. (Tweet This!) To be embraced for the spirit and mind and body (preferably in that order). Shows like Dating Naked are actually mocking the fact that being naked is not to be taken casually. Being naked is a gift. That someone should earn. With wedding vows.

Yeah. I already know. Some of y’all are going to be commenting about why I was watching it in the first place. That’s cool. I’ll just say this—about that: In order to know what Satan is scheming, sometimes you have to read (or watch) his blueprint.

Anyway, if you have teenagers, ask them what they’ve been checking out lately.

And whether they’ve seen the show or not, remind them that people are walking miracles.

Ones that deserve to be seen—not in parts. But as wholes.

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Don’t Look at the Parts. Look at the Whole. by XXXchurch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.



  • Jonathan McKe

    Shellie… thanks for this. Glad you broke it down and dissected it for us. Media has definitely become more sexually charged. Thanks for taking explicit lies and contrasting it with explicit truth. Keep up the good work.

  • The Revenant

    Why fight it? God wants it this way.

    1. God’s original intent was for humans to live naked, having sex all the time. Since there was no birth control in the Garden of Eden, and we had no knowledge of right and wrong, that means indiscriminate, unwed, sex. So why do we now consider it wrong to see a naked body? It’s what God intended for us. Our shame after eating from the tree of knowledge is what brought us to the current situation, a position against God’s wishes. To perpetuate the shame by burying our God-given instincts, and hide our God-given beauty, is to further move away from God’s original intent.

    2. If our brains are constructed to see, physically, women as parts and men the whole, that suggests there’s a reason for it. If you don’t believe in evolution then you have to believe God did this on purpose. That is, we are supposed to see women as a sum of their physical parts, and men as just the whole, since it’s programmed into us. For the devil to have tampered with this would have meant he’s physically and geneticaly tampered with all of humanity since our beginning. Not too likely, since God is all powerful.

    However, I don’t see why this distinction is a problem. If we’re intelligent, we look, we admire, we move on to what’s important. This study only tells us what our first impressions are.

    3. I would appreciate an explanation regarding the headline to this section: “One out of every three visitors to all web sites are women. 70% of women keep their online activities a secret. XXXchurch is here to help.”

    a. what is the source for these numbers?

    b. Help with what? Statistically, women should be one out of every 2 viewers, so women are looking at the net significantly less than men. So why do they need help? To view the net more? Do they need lessons on how to use internet browsers? where to find the good sites? I’m afraid I just don’t understand.

    Thank you for any help and comments. God bless.

    • Stanley Maina

      I pray for you, that you may have a personal encounter with God, that as He met with Saul in Damascus, He will meet wih you so that his precious light will shine on your heart so that your eyes will be opened. Then you’ll be able to understand the context of the article:)

    • Joe

      they Adam and Eve where not naked if they where then God stared the first nudist Colony, I cannot find this in the bible or you need to quote me a verse, if you can quote me a verse I will believe you, they where clothed in light when they sinned the light was gone and they where ashamed they where all of a sudden sensitive to something they where not sensitive before the fall of man , so I guess you came up with this nonsense all by yourself, remember God clothed them in light like the angles, we will be like the angles again when we who believe in the LORD Jesus we will have a new body like his clothed in Gods light. If you study DNA it does emit light not like it did before the fall but it does a little even in our fallen state.

      • robertbeason

        Joe, I don’t buy the whole “clothed in light” thing. I understand that it is a common jewish belief, but I believe it is a misinterpretation. Genesis 2:25 states, in reference to Adam and Eve before the fall: “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame (NIV).” There was no need for clothes as there was no shame. Shame entered the world when lust, jealousy, and pride entered the world. God clothed them in garments of skin after the fall (Gen 3:21). I take this to mean he killed an animal (first blood as result of sin) and clothed them with it literally.

  • Michael koroh

    Hallo kita baru bergabung ne

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