You certainly learn something new everyday. As this month’s theme is coming to a close, I thought about porn (and certain fetishes) in a way that I must admit that I never really had before. You know how it says in the Word, which is God (John 1:1), that we were bought with a price and so we should not be *slaves among men*; that we are to remain as we were called (I Corinthians 7:23-24)? As I was looking through a list of fetishes that were provided on the Kinsey website, I thought about how so many of them, if they were in a setting outside of sex, would be seen as brutal acts of slavery: spitting on people, calling them out of their names, S&M, hitting, humiliation, mumification, master/slave fanstasies…*just wow*. Wow that we have allowed the inundated culture of *unhealthy sexual activity* to, if nothing else, get us to consider that those acts are needed (or OK) for arousal…that they are actually *sexy*. You know, in my porn days, I’m not sure if you can attest or not, but I didn’t really see any “sweet love scenes sex”. Somebody somewhere was getting called a female dog, somebody somewhere was getting pushed or pulled, somebody somewhere was getting treated…basically like they were worthless. Like they were nothing. Like they were…just what the Word tells us that we’re not: *slaves among men*.
And wow again in processing that I actually found some kind of sexual pleasure in that. James 5:16 tells us that there is confession in healing. I Timothy 4:14-16(AMP) tells us that our testimonies (and personalities) save us and those who hear us. My confession for today: it has taken me *many* (MANY) years to heal from things that transpired due to my childhood verbal, sexual and physical abuse and yet, as an adult, I am somewhat amazed that I would somehow, at least physically, at least for a moment, find myself “enjoying” other people who were being just as abnormally used. A part of me wonders if that was because I found some sick form of comfort in the fact that I wasn’t alone in what I had experienced; that if I was fantasizing through someone else’s experiences, I wouldn’t have to remember my own. I’m still processing that.
But where I’m really going with this is that there’s another verse in the Bible that tells us, “Take heed that no one deceives you.” (Matthew 24:4). Christ himself said that. And here’s the thing about deceit: it’s meant to mislead, it’s meant to trick, it’s meant to defraud. Which means, it’s usually not, initially, going to seem as foul, offensive and spiritually damaging as it actually is. I mean, could porn be as big as it is now if there was not some kind of *deceit* going on? Obviously, with the amount of people battling the addiction, *both in and out of the Church*, if it was so disgusting across the board, this site wouldn’t even need to exist. Indeed, something about it…allures us.
There’s something about it that we find to be…*charming*.
Yeah. I know, right? That’s not a word that I would normally pick, either. Oh, but that’s the benefit in doing research (Hosea 4:6) and as I was looking up some information on the history of fetishes, AskMen.com provided some insight that I never knew before:
“The word fetish originally meant ‘charm,’ and it originates from the 15th century Portuguese word feitico , which means false power, object or charm. For example, when the Portuguese explored West Africa and encountered native religions, they called whatever talisman (totems, carvings, beads) they revered a fetish.
To the Portuguese in those days, the fetishists were those who worshiped the unusual. Later on, however, the implication of the word took on a whole different meaning.
First, a fetish involves the transfer of power from an original source onto a substitute. Second, a fetishist is someone who operates outside the circle of what is characteristically considered normal. Yeah right, what is normal nowadays?”
*Fetish* means “to charm”?!? Eww!!! But then, I revisted that word again and thought, “Well, I get it.” To “charm” is “a power of pleasing or attracting, as through personality or beauty”. It’s “a magic spell; enchantment”. It’s to “entice”, to “fascinate”, to “ravish” and to “bewitch”. And on some level, don’t fetishes do *all of that*? On some level, is that not why so many of us return for more and more? It has us under some kind of spell? Eh hem, *curse*?
That made me think of something that I penned on the “On Fire” blog not too long ago. I was sharing with the women (and some men-LOL) that I can’t believe how much we “let it pass” when women say that they are “waiting for the fairytale” when that word itself is defined as not just “a story about fairies; told to amuse children” but (catch it) “an interesting but highly implausible story; often told as an excuse”. When something is not plausible, that means that it’s “not having the appearance of truth or credibility”. Women are waiting for a relationship that lacks truth and credibility? And to top it off, they usually describe their desired beloved, their future husband, to be Prince Charming. PRINCE. *CHARMING*. And doesn’t it tell us in Proverbs 31:30 that *charm is deceiful*?
Death and life are in the power of the tongue. The Bible tells us so (Proverbs 18:21). How quick we are to speak things forth without understanding what we’re really saying. How quick we are to repeat simply what we hear others say. How quick we are to get caught up in things without *fully understanding* the purpose that they are trying to serve in our lives. *Prince Charming?!?* No thanks. A man of God will suit me just fine. And now that I have a clearer reference of what a fetish is, the ones that porn did encourage me to prefer, I will be spending some *extra special time* in prayer with the Lord making sure they are purged fully from me. Whenever my beloved comes, I don’t want any past “spells”, any past lust “fascinations”, any past *bewitching* temptations coming into a marriage bed that the Word said was to be undefiled…that is to be *pure* (Hebrews 13:4).
Hmph. Makes me wonder if that’s a *huge part* of what the Liar’s (John 8:44) plan was for porn all along: to get us *charmed* out of marital intimacy’s *purity*—to keep people so *bound* to pornography that they find themselves being unable to *freely* enjoy sex with their spouse. Whether present. Or future. To have them not lovers, but slaves.
Just something to think about. ‘Cause you know what they say: if we don’t know our *history*, we’re doomed to repeat it.