OK ya’ll, don’t be mad at me, but I just had to catch an episode of VH-1’s “I can’t believe they did another spin-off of another crazy show but they did” semi-reality series, “I Love New York”. I remember when Kirk Franklin spoke about his porn addiction on Oprah and he referred to Internet porn as the “crack of pornography”. In the same vein, I would have to say that 99.9% of the shows on VH-1 are the “crack of mental non-productivity”.
And still, like a junkie, something draws me to it.
Sorry to say, I watched the first season of “Flavor of Love” and I must admit that as an African-American woman with an IQ in the triple digits, it was pretty insulting; but I can only knock it so much because after all, I watched along with the rest of the closet fans as “Hoops” beat out “New York” in the finale, only to have Public Enemy member, Flavor Flav attempt love (?) again with a gal named Delicious in the second season (one that I didn’t watch but heard a lot about).
Oh, but I did watch the reunion show; something worse than all of the episodes combined, only to discover that “New York” had been rejected yet a second time by the same man. I must admit, I don’t think that she and I can relate to much, but I do know what it’s like to want to be with someone all the while believing that he wants to be with me, only to discover that I was more of a pass time or a play thing than his true love.
(But, we’ll have to get to that at another time. Right now, I should get back to why I love New York.)
Anyway, when I heard Flavor Flav say that he was in support of New York getting her own show, as much as I hated the idea of another televised flesh fest, I must admit there’s a part of me who always roots for the underdog—no matter how ridiculous.
So, I checked out an episode. Let me just say, it did not disappoint. It was more ridiculous than anything I’d seen on Flav’s show (and that’s saying a lot).
But, there was something that stood out as a silver lining in this cloud of carnal craziness. There was a guy named Bones who professed to be a Christian. Now, being that I volunteered to blog on a site that deals with porn, I ain’t gonna knock a brother’s calling. For some reason, he felt that competing with a myraid of buffed, sexually-charged dudes was a part of his “ministry”.
Anyway, he seemed nice enough. Even New York gave him his props. But as it came time for eliminations during this particular episode, although she thought he was cute and sweet, she gave him his walking papers. And do you know why?
(Drum roll, please).
“I don’t want to corrupt him.”
Wow. Now, I don’t know if New York (aka Tiffany) knows what the word “corrupt” actually means, but for our sakes, I looked it up:
Corrupt: guilty of dishonest practices, as bribery; lacking integrity; crooked; debased in character; depraved; perverted; wicked; evil; infected; tainted; decayed; putrid; to destroy the integrity of; cause to be dishonest, disloyal, etc.
The Bible says that “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22)
I don’t know if any of these men were actually looking to marry New York (especially during a two-week taping period), but I’m sure none of them were on the hunt for someone who would actually corrupt them.
As a matter of fact, the Bible warns of such women:
“The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet,
her soft words are oh so smooth.
But it won’t be long before she’s gravel in your mouth,
a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart.
She’s dancing down the primrose path to Death;
she’s headed straight for Hell and taking you with her.
She hasn’t a clue about Real Life,
about who she is or where she’s going.
So, my friend, listen closely;
don’t treat my words casually.
Keep your distance from such a woman;
absolutely stay out of her neighborhood.
You don’t want to squander your wonderful life,
to waste your precious life among the hardhearted.
Why should you allow strangers to take advantage of you?
Why be exploited by those who care nothing for you?
You don’t want to end your life full of regrets,
nothing but sin and bones,
Saying, “Oh, why didn’t I do what they told me?
Why did I reject a disciplined life?
Why didn’t I listen to my mentors,
or take my teachers seriously?
My life is ruined!
I haven’t one blessed thing to show for my life!”—Proverbs 5:3-14 (Message)
I don’t care what kind of man you are or what church you do or don’t go to, no one wants to die due to a relationship. So, am I saying that New York is this kind of woman? To be honest with you, I think all women, including myself, who have compromised themselves for fame, fortune or a man sees herself in these verses of scripture. God called for his princesses to bring favor, not death and destruction to men but it’s only when we know our true value that we will refuse to cast our pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6).
Remember, I said that I got love for New York for even discerning that the slender, seemingly very sincere, young man by the name of Bones was too pure for that place; that to keep him there would only “corrupt” him.
I wonder how many unplanned babies’ lives could be spared, hearts could be kept whole and souls could be saved, if in the midst of our brokenness, we could look at the object of our affection and say, “You know what, I am a little messed up right now and as much as I may want to get involved with you, I don’t want to corrupt you. It’s best that you leave.” I know for me personally, at the very least, my four aborted children would have a different legacy.
So what’s my “deep thought” for this week? Take a long look at your relationships—especially your romantic ones. It may not be a comfortable conversation to have with yourself, but be honest; who are you corrupting? If you’re dating and you know that you have an agenda that would compromise someone’s moral values (which at the end of the day is what spirituality is all about) and you refuse to set boundary lines, do you really have the right to turn up your nose at New York just because she’s getting fifteen minutes of fame for what you are doing for free? Even she had enough heart to kick a man with different standards to the curb for his own safety’s sake and that’s a heck of a lot more than I can say for a lot of women I’ve known—both in and out of the church.
I know as for me, I’m going to take this warning to heart. I would hate for a man to hear my name and associate me with being “guility of dishonest practices”, “debased in character”, “perverted”, “wicked” or “evil”. I’m supposed to be a BLESSING, not a CURSE. And ladies, so are you.
Hey, it’s just a thought, but don’t thank me. Thank New York.