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Newsflash: Vibrator Sales Are Up. Is Intimacy Down?

by Shellie R. Warren on May 12th, 2012 in Women

I’m asking because of this…

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is “I know that whatever God does, It shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him.” (Ecclesiastes 3:14-NKJV) That said, when I read about *how sex was introduced in the Bible*, I always dig the fact that when the male and female bodies came together in covenant, there were no “additives” needed: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:24-25-NKJV)

For some reason, I don’t envision God saying, “You’ll become one flesh with the help of some electronic toys.” And being that electricity has not existed since the beginning of mankind, *but sex has* and people seemed to have enjoyed the act *just fine* before a vibrator’s assistance, when I read the following, I was curious about something:

“Women as well as men have become increasingly comfortable with electronic devices in the bedroom. A survey released in November 2011 showed that 50 percent of Americans reported using vibrators, and 70 percent of men said that they were comfortable with the electronic device. The same survey showed that the majority of participants agreed or strongly agreed with the statement ‘[vibrators are a] healthy part of many women’s sex lives.’”

For the married folks, my question is this: Is it a *healthy* part or is it a band-aid on a greater issue? Is it an assistance tool or a crutch? If you’re trying to get close to someone and there are “things” in the way, is that helping *true intimacy* or hindering it?

And for the singles out here (cause there are *a lot of singles that use them*), “Do you believe that sex with a vibrator is a way to remain sexually pure? Why or why not?”

Sound off…

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  • a friend

    R.e. the singles… Masturbation is masturbation whether I use my hands, your hands or a vibrator. Does it feel good? Absolutely! Does it honor God? My vote is no. Why? One good reason is that it became an addiction for me. I went to the vibrator and masturbation instead of going to God. Ughhhhh…

  • One_Reader

    There isn’t much logic in many of your statements. Suggesting that because something began one way, it can never be changed is rather ludicrous. Our religious services have many additions and changes that weren’t part of the synagogue service, for example. We have the freedom to add beneficial things to our lives, whether public or private. 

    Obviously, there is no way we can know that Adam or Eve never employed “toys” other than the fact that tools hadn’t been invented yet. 🙂  Later on we read in Ezekiel about women using dildos made of precious metals. I’m sure more than one lady learned to enjoy rushing water on their bits. But, this is all moot. In the story of Adam and Eve we learn the principle of “one flesh”, that a woman becomes forever a part of her husband’s life and responsibility. This may imply a covenant, though there is none in the text.

    The covenant came along later, stating a man’s obligations towards his wife and her financial security in the event the marriage dissolved by death or divorce. It was a prenuptial agreement known as the ketubah, announcing the husband’s duties towards his prospective wife.  There is no Bible teaching that a covenant must proceed sex life that I know of; it was more of a tradition that developed, rather than any divinely established law. God’s law has already stated the obligations of the man toward his wife, and that the wife must obey her husband and never cheat on him. So, putting any of that in writing again was more of a formality than anything else (since we are already obligated to keep God’s laws), except with the ketubah, this gave the woman legal written security for her financial protection.  Divorce wasn’t the ideal from God, but in that it does happen and was tolerated by God, this document gave her rights and protections from being the victim of an quickie divorce. 

    Obviously, the use of vibrators has little to do with becoming “one flesh”. The latter is a legal status before man and God that results from a heterosexual union. There is no interest in the law of marriage whether or not a woman is sexually happy or satisfied. Her husband is obligated to have sex with her, not get her off. A loving partner takes interest in the happiness of his partner and since vibrators help bring many women great pleasure, men give their blessing for her sake, also realizing that this ultimately benefits them as well, since an orgasmic wife is more likely to desire sex, than a frigid girl wearing a purity ring.

    • Shellie

      Interesting perspective. I appreciate it. I don’t agree, but I appreciate it as well as you making the time to share it.

      Something that I continue to find to be…again, interesting, is that the Word does say, “For I am the Lord, I do not change” (Malachi 3:6) and “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God.” (I Corinthians 3:19) And ironically, it’s not church folks that I see with sex toys available in their book stores. It’s porn companies and sex shops, which causes me for pause, right there.

      I personally believe that God orchestrated sex so well that it can stand without a device all on its own and in speaking to wives I know that are reliant on them, they have *unanimously shared* that it’s a *quicker* way to get their “release” than having to *communicate* with their husbands how to do it on their own. COMMUNICATION (or lack thereof) is what resounds in my mind.

      Some things are not “heaven or hell” issues so much as, “Why aren’t we looking at the bigger picture?” And to rely on lust-based companies to bring pleasure to a marital covenant, to me, seems a bit…off.

      • One_Reader

        Sorry about that… the links got stuck together. Here they are again: 
        http://www.covenantspice.com/http://mybelovedsgarden.net/MARITAL_AIDS_(Sex_Toys).htmlhttp://pleasureforevermore.com.au/vibrators.htmlhttp://www.christianlovetoys.com/pages/Site-Guidelines.htmlhttp://shop.thepurebed.com/http://store.threepassionslingerie.com/storefront.aspx

      • One_Reader

        Okay……. let’s try it again: 

        http://www.covenantspice.com/words go herehttp://mybelovedsgarden.net/MARITAL_AIDS_(Sex_Toys).htmlwords go here http://pleasureforevermore.com.au/vibrators.htmlwords go here http://www.christianlovetoys.com/pages/Site-Guidelines.htmlwords go here http://shop.thepurebed.com/words go here http://store.threepassionslingerie.com/storefront.aspx

      • One_Reader

        I see my post is missing too.

        I said something about that “I’m sure there are probably brick and mortar Christian “marital aids” stores, but right now most of them are online and I tried to list 3 times a series of links to such Christian businesses. I think I’ll have another go of it. About half of the links are still messed up in the last attempt. Here goes, this time, double-spaced:

        http://www.covenantspice.com/

        http://shop.thepurebed.com/

        There that should do it.  

  • Nina Underdue105
  • GeoffSmart

    Sorry Shellie, you are trying to tell us that God did not know about electricity then. Of course He did, we did not.

    • Shellie

       The forest for the trees, Geoff. I think you got my point.

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